Friday, June 08, 2007

Yet another GOPer who won't go away

Addressing a bunch of think-tankers with no sense of the real world, Newt Gingrich has recast himself as the Cassandra of the GOP.

Addressing a conservative organization, the former House Speaker never mentioned the president by name, but his political point was clear.

"If the Republicans run a stand-pat presidential candidate who ends up being on defense for all of September and October and who is seen by the country as representing four more years, the fact is that Republicans are not going to" win, Gingrich told the American Enterprise Institute.

Guess what, Newt? By and large, the GOP race is all about standing pat. Everything about Romney, Rudy, and McCain have said have come to indicate that a. they have no idea what they stand for, and b. they really, really want the GOP base to come out and vote for them. That GOP base is reliable because a. they're guaranteed to never, ever vote for a Democrat and b. they're the only ones dumb enough to think four more years of Bush is a great idea. So Newt, you're a little late.

Of course, Newt has his own bright ideas for when/if he decides to run. You ready, America?

Gingrich, who helped shut down government over spending fights with the Clinton administration in the 1990s, said Republicans must offer a more dramatic platform for remaking government that focuses on private-sector innovation.

This "private-sector innovation" is code for corporatism, people. "Private-sector innovation" has led to an explosion of chain stores and service jobs and exclusive government contracts to Halliburton. C'mon, Newt. Not only will that dog no longer hunt, but said dog was put down a long time ago because it was really old.

In a glimpse of what his candidacy might look like, he said he would shut down public schools that aren't performing and offer a $20 billion reward for the first private company that successfully completes a Mars mission.

Four words, Newt: No Child Left Behind. That's what's crippling the nation's schools. Why do righties have it in for our public schools, anyway?

And a Mars mission? Huh?

Maybe Newt should run. Maybe he deserves the nomination. Because if anyone would offer more of the same, it would be him. No one can stand pat quite like the Newtster.