Thursday, June 14, 2007

"But Mommy, I thought Grandpa went to heaven! What's he doing in the toybox?"

We interrupt the usual political snark, popular culture oddities, cat blogs, prog blogs, punk blogs, and general fun at the wingnutosphere's expense to bring you news of a unique new product that may interest the reader...if that reader wants his or her loved ones to come back from the great beyond as spirits of rage and vengeance. Ahem.

It was Scaramouche who first found yet more proof there's a market for everything. Including new ways to store the remains of the dead. Like maybe within the plushy innards of cute angel teddy bears.

Huggable Urns is the site that sells these adorable critters. Miss having Grandpa tuck you in at night? Well, now you can have Grandpa right beside you in bed. Grandpa (or what's left of him) is place inside a pouch saying "Eternal Love", and the pouch is tucked inside the stuffed animal.

Not only are Huggable Urns cute, they are economical. Why spend thousands of dollars on a family plot when they could all be stacked next to each other in, say, the playroom?

You get your choice of a teddy bear, a dog with a red ribbon, or a kitty with a pink ribbon. It would make funeral planning so much easier.

Of course, you're wondering "What kind of weirdo would put someone's ashes inside a stuffed toy?" Funny you should ask. From Huggable Urns' front page:

Soon after my Dad passed away he started to communicate to me how upset he was that after living his life to the fullest he ended up in some ugly hard container. This was just not acceptable to him. Was I surprised!!!


Boy! I have never talked to my Dad so much in my whole life as I have since he passed. Not only has he guided me every step of the way in the creation of Huggable Urns but he also has guided me in my personal life.

He wanted something soft and cuddly that people could hold and to have around them at all times. My family found this to be very comforting to our aching hearts. Plus my Dad wanted you to be able to accessorize your Huggable to fit the personality of your loved one. Out-of-site, out-of-mind is not my Dads way.

It gives me such comfort to be able to pick up my Teddy Bear and give my Dad a hug anytime I want to especially during my personal hard times.

Question: does Dad share in the profits from this product? Does he do ads for it? "I'm not just the inspiration for Huggable Urns; I'm a customer!"

Does this woman have any siblings? If so, what do they think of this? Do they all wish they had Daddy's teddy bear urn for themselves?

Wouldn't it be a bad idea to put the urn on the mantel over the fireplace? The urn's fabric could catch fire.

And, finally, has anyone stopped to cuddle the urn without realizing who/what it is?

What will the funeral industry say about all this? If Huggable Urns catch on, won't the casket manufacturers be mad? I imagine Jessica Mitford, author of The American Way of Death, is observing all this from somewhere in the afterlife, asking these very same questions, realizing that there are no satisfactory answers.