The Truffle

Remember President Stupid telling the press "strong asset" he'd be to 2008 GOP candidates? Guess again. Republican presidential candidates can't be any more clear: President Bush isn't welcome on the campaign trail. Maybe they'll take Laura or Barney the dog instead? Competing to succeed him, top GOP candidates Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson and John McCain barely utter Bush's name. They essentially ignore the lame-duck president, or give him only passing credit, as they rail against the status quo and promise to fix problems he hasn't solved. ``We all know Americans want change,'' said McCain, an Arizona senator, explaining the aversion to aligning with Bush. ``I give him credit for a number of things but I think the fact is Americans are turning the page, including our Republican primary voters.'' WTF? Since 2004, McCain's head has been so far up President Stupid's ass that he could wear the man's intestines f...

For one thing, they'll appeal to more and more independents, like this guy : Michael Brooks is exactly the kind of voter the Republican Party can ill afford to lose. But in a foreboding omen for 2008, it may have already done just that. The auto parts store worker from St. Charles, Mo., says he used to be a Republican but felt abandoned and is now an independent. "For some reason or other, they didn't seem to be for the masses anymore," said Brooks, 59, citing a lack of help for middle-income earners. He said he voted for George W. Bush in 2000, thinking the Republican was "more middle of the road, for the people. Obviously I was incorrect." Via Democratic Underground.

McCain would appoint a Dem to a cabinet post. Someone other than Joe Lieberman. Then again, Lieberman isn't a Democrat. Hunter offers more "secure the border" rhetoric. He's competing with Tancredo for the Minutemen vote. McCain believes in evolution but also thinks the hand of God is in the Grand Canyon. Giuliani has some idea of the difference between Sunnis and Shias. Gilmore explains why he's a "consistent conservative." And mentions Reagan. Does Ron Paul trust the mainstream media? "Some of them. But I trust the internet a lot more." He opposes regulating the internet. No argument there. Brownback gives a stock answer to whether his religious beliefs affect his foreign policy decisions. "Everyone's beliefs affects their decisions!" What's Giuliani's greatest weakness? He doesn't answer. No matter; a lot of former New Yorkers could answer that question for him. Brownback blathers about "big ideas...

I know, I know. The 2008 campaign is getting predictable. Among the GOP candidates, there are enough flip flops to fill a beach. On the Democratic side, you have La Hill and Obama trying to out-fundraise each other. Already, everyone knows what to expect. Maybe they should just hold the elections in January 2008 and be done with it. In case you fear your options are limited, here are some other candidates to consider. Yes, in every political campaign, there are a few lesser-known parties, wacky outsiders, and general no-names whom nobody hears about until you see their names in the voting booth. Well, already we've got an election that looks to be very different from elections past, so why not level the playing field? Here are some candidates running for president and other assorted elected offices. From Vermont, home of Howard Dean and America's first socialist senator comes Cris Ericson of the National Marijuana Party. I'm not sure what the lady's running fo...