Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It had to happen

A wingnut compares young Obama supporters to Hitler Youth.

Can we reinstate Godwin's law? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzeee?

An idle theory of mine

Rumor has it that McLame really wanted Joe Lieberman for his VP pick but was prodded into picking the Precious Princess. Lieberman was subsequently put in charge of giving her a crash course in foreign affairs. This seems to have consisted mainly of Lieberman unrolling a map of the world and telling her, "Now, Alaska is here, and Russia is here! You and Putin are practically next door neighbors! Isn't that great!"

But I wonder if Lieberman is, like Yosemite Mitt and Pawlenty, secretly mad at McCain for passing him over.

It would explain some of the Precious Princess' gaffes. Joe Lieberman has purposely done a crappy job of prepping her for the national stage to revenge himself on McLame. Thus, instead of being able to explain the Bush doctrine, the Precious Princess gives Charles Gibson a deer-in-headlights look. My boyfriend says I'm giving Lieberman too much credit, and I probably am. But it's still a fun theory, yes?

Speaking of the Precious Princess...

A few misguided feminists like Rebecca Walker are trying to wrap their brains around the concept of a conservative Republican female VP candidate by...claiming she somehow is a feminist with a different concept of feminism. (Click the linky and you'll find the Walker babbling about "feminist think tanks." What feminist think tanks?)

To anyone who babbles about Palin's supposed feminism, here is a nasty fact: When Sarah Palin was mayor of Wasilla, rape victims had to pay for their rape kits. Yes, that's right, the victim herself had to foot the cost of providing evidence to arrest and prosecute her rapist. The logic was that the victim could charge her insurance company the cost of the rape kit. Of course, if she didn't have health insurance, she had to pay for the rape kit out of her own pocket. And what if she's poor and has no insurance and can't pay for the rape kit?

Well, gee, just because some of Palin's government policies were harmful to women, that doesn't mean the--what's the word?--feminist establishment should reject her. Right, Rebecca?

Oh, wait. There's more. Palin has no problem with sexist attacks on other women in politics. In fact, she can giggle along with the best of them.

Can we please stop pretending Palin's just a strong conservative woman who's a misunderstood feminist? I'm not linking to Camille Paglia's horseshit in Salon, either, because I doubt she believes anything she writes or says. But Rebecca Walker? I thought, with her being Alice's kid and Steinem's goddaughter, she'd at least have a functioning bullshit detector. But no.

And meanwhile, Katie Couric asks the Precious Princess about abortion. Specifically, about whether, say, victims of rape or incest have the right to an abortion. The answer is truly cringeworthy.

The crybaby conservatism continues!

Bet you didn't know the Precious Princess' parents have taken up a post-retirement career as rat killers.

Gee, her family sounds like a tough-as-nails bunch. But even Momsy and Popsy are protesting the media's supposedly shabby treatment of their little princess. Methinks they doth protest too much. For one thing, CBS still hasn't aired one potentially damning segment. Basically the Precious Princess only knows about one Supreme Court case: Roe vs. Wade.

Did she study American history? If so, did she pay attention in class or just cheat off the other students during exams?

'Tis the season of crybaby conservatism

Republicans in Washington have been unusually lachrymose during the past month. And I don't think it's just the public self-immolation of Sarah Palin. Or even the inevitable election losses in November. No, it's mean, awful Nancy Pelosi who said some horrible things that hurt their feelings. In fact, some House Republicans were so hurt that they voted against the bailout.

Oh, boo fucking hoo. If Democrats could suffer through twelve years of GOP fucktards like Newt Gingrich, Dick Armey, Tom DeLay, and Dennis Hastert treating them like subhumans worth only of ridicule, then Republicans should be thick-skinned enough to withstand a few "hurtful" comments by one of those wimpy San Francisco liberals they hate so much. From TAPPED:

Clearly, Boehner couldn't deliver the votes and he's trying to blame someone else for being ineffectual. But his excuse doesn't make the House GOP look better, it makes them look worse. Boehner is saying that his Party isn't even standing on principle, they merely wanted to scuttle the deal out of spite. That's an alibi?

Assorted political scientists and spinmeisters are trying to frame this as a losing situation for Pelosi, but it seems that the failure of the bailout will cost the Republicans on November 4. They tried to play "blame the evil Democrat(ic) Party" again, only this time, it appears to have backfired.

From Progressive Politic Examiner:

Let me get this straight - the Dow just dropped 777 points following the House vote, the single largest one day decline in U.S. history, foreign markets will open later today to unknown, but most likely, similar fates, many thousands of retirement age Americans watched their plans to retire go up in smoke this afternoon, U.S. corporations are wondering whether they will be in a position to borrow funds for needed expansion or have to lay off portions of their workforce, and these 12 Republicans switched their vote at the last minute because their delicate egos were bruised by Pelosi's comments?

I have a feeling we will never know the names of those 12 Republicans. But we should.

Friday, September 26, 2008

McCain probably wishes he'd stayed home

Obama tells McCain what everyone already knows, and McCain is probably thinking, "I wonder if it's too late to go back to Arizona and sit out the rest of this godforsaken campaign."

I'm sorry I missed the debate--NOT

Spent the night at a show with Le Sweetie. Meat Puppets, followed by Dinosaur, Jr., followed by Built to Spill. Verdict? Show was awesome. Didn't miss the debates.

But man, J. Mascis has gone graaaaaaaaaay. He's well on his way to being one of those aging hipsters who haven't changed their appearance since they were 16 or so. He's got long, long gray hair and all he needs is a tie-dye shirt now.

I have to catch on footage of all the debate jabs, punditry, and Palinesque interview gaffes I've missed.

Especially Palin's gaffes. Like this one from her chat with Couric. She's explaining why she didn't get a passport until last year or so:

I’m not one of those who maybe came from a background of, you know, kids who perhaps graduate college and their parents give them a passport and give them a backpack and say go off and travel the world. No, I’ve worked all my life. In fact, I usually had two jobs all my life until I had kids. I was not a part of, I guess, that culture.

I've worked since I was 16, including summers and college semesters. I came from a single-parent, middle-class family. I got a passport when I was 15 years old and had visited Canada, England, and France before I turned 20. Try again, dear.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Why McCain should do Friday's debate

He needs to remind the American people that he was a POW.

George W. Bush: Now 100% underwhelming

I didn't even bother to watch or liveblog his dumb bailout speech. He has become utterly predictable with his incompetence.

Four more months of this crap and then it'll be all over. Yay.

McCain spends 5K on a makeup artist

Once again, wingnuts' ridicule has come back to bite them on the ass. Is this money coming from campaign funds? Or is Cindy loaning him the money?

So, John McCain has reportedly paid more than $5,500 to Tifanie White, the makeup artist who works on "American Idol," for similar cosmetic services. It is yet another incident of a politician -- regardless of ideological stripe -- coughing up a lot of money for the sake of good looks.

Earlier this cycle, one may recall, former Sen. John Edwards was subjected to days of ridicule over the fact that he had made two separate payments of $400 for two haircuts. Leading the charge was the media -- keen on pointing out that a self-professed man of the people was spending the equivalent of a months rent, in some places, on personal grooming.

Maybe he wants to upstage the Precious Princess.

A modest theory on women and politics

Perhaps one reason we still don't have a woman president is that in America, women politicians are not thought of simply as politicians. Before a woman--any woman--can clear that particular hurdle, she is subject to endless examination of her family, her fashion sense, her personal habits, and her general life choices.

Team McCain, in their efforts to protect the Precious Princess, conveniently ignores this fact. They would like the public to accept the Precious Princess as a rootin'-tootin', moose shootin' ball-buster, while whining about the media meanies who just totally have it in for her. (Cambell Brown, meanwhile, has called them on their general dishonesty. Somehow, I don't remember the Clinton White House insisting on similar kid-glove treatment of La Hill.)

Meanwhile, Tzipi Livni has could become Israel's first female prime minister since Golda Meir. And weirdly enough, the Israeli press isn't the least bit interested in Livni's non-political life:

The personal notes that creep in are -- no surprise -- introduced by the North American media. So B'nai Brith Canada reveals that "she prefers jeans to a suit and sneakers to high heels, and has been a vegetarian since age 12." That matters about as much as whether Stephen Harper sees himself as a strawberry or a box of raisins. And the day Livni won, a Canadian story led off with the victory of "a stylish 50-year-old former Mossad spy and mother of two." Would any newly elected male leader be described as "a natty 50-year-old father of two"?

You have to turn to the Israeli press to learn that Livni's appeal is not focused around the hobbies she and her husband enjoy -- as is too much of the emphasis on Palin -- but on her reputation for being intelligent, a straight-talker and a politician who is untainted by scandal. As Israeli foreign minister, she served as chief negotiator for the Palestinian talks.

That's where Team McCain misfired. They wanted a People Magazine/Ladies' Home Journal candidate, at a time when the tabloid mentality is weirdly obsolete. All of a sudden, with the events of the past two weeks, nobody cares of Palin can field dress a moose anymore.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This is just SO surprising

Clay Aiken reveals he's gay. Who didn't see this coming?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Crybaby conservative alert!

Precious Princess Palin: "Waaaaaaaaaah! Mean Democrats are bein' mean! WAAAAAAAAH!"

So much for the party of personal responsibility

Tweety takes on a GOP congresscritter. The congresscritter squirms, big time.

Somewhere, Rove is crying in his beer

A CNN poll finds that the GOP is taking most of the blame for this recent Wall Street meltdown.

In the new survey, released Monday afternoon, 47 percent of registered voters questioned say Republicans are more responsible for the problems currently facing financial institutions and the stock market, with 24 percent saying Democrats are more responsible. One in five of those polled blame both parties equally, and 8 percent say neither party is to blame.

The poll also indicates that more Americans think Obama, the Democratic presidential nominee, would do a better job handling an economic crisis than McCain, the Republican presidential nominee. Forty-nine percent of those questioned say Obama would display good judgment in an economic crisis, 6 points higher than the number who said the same about McCain. And Obama has a 10 point lead over McCain on the question of who would better handle the economy overall.

P.S. The first presidential debate is this Friday. Supposedly, John McCain is being prepped by Michael Steele, former lieutenant governor of Maryland, and an African-American Republican. Surely, race didn't factor into McCain's choice of a debate coach. But I've still got a mental image of McCain spouting ebonics behind the debate podium, while Obama looks at him with a big "WHUH?!?!?" look on his face.

Enough of the culture wars already

McCain was really hoping to culture-war his way into the White House with his pick of Precious Princess Palin (a.k.a. She Who Must Not Be Exposed to the Mean Media). What could be a better strategy than picking a wingnut to make the base all quivery with excitement? Why, picking a female wingnut, of course!

It really was comical, how blatant Team McCain was in their strategy: screw issues. We're going to talk about personalities and hockey moms and lipstick. Because...well, the culture war worked before, so why not now?

What a difference a week and half can make. Precious Princess Palin's interview with Charles Gibson was a bust, and assorted controversies keep emerging from Alaska. For such a popular, charismatic GOP rising star, she sure has a lot of enemies.

The Precious Princess's pick was not about merit, of course (see this list of more qualified GOP women). It was about rallying the 28 percenters. And also about giving wingnuts a chance to pretend that they were feminists by supporting a GIRL GOP CANDIDATE!!!! Meanwhile, Carly Fiorina whined that Tina Fey's Precious Princess 'pression was somehow "sexist."

Except that, as with most of the past four years, the American people haven't been too interested in the culture wars. I mean, culture wars are so...1990s. That is perhaps the real reason that Palin failed to excite the American people beyond those fundies and knee-jerk righties who still think Bush is a great president.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

More recommended readings

Al Giordano counts all the times Obama was declared toast by the blogosphere. Like, way back in 2007.

Meanwhile, it seems to me that with Lipstick-on-a-Pig-Gate, McSame is doing his best impression of the Fonz in a leather jacket and swim trunks.

Recommended reading:

From Charles Kozierok: Top 10 Reasons to Chill: Obama Will Be Fine.

Yeah, I'm pretty jittery about the great GOP "bounce." Some quotes from nice strangers:

Obama's bounce got him to 310 projected EVs/almost 70% win percentage.

McCain's bounce got him even.

The best McCain can do is get even, so Obama is in good shape.

Yeah, McCain is starting to remind me of Kerry in 2004. How many people are really that enthusiastic about the guy without Palin? And a lot of dirt is coming out about Palin.

No jitters. The Obama campaign is supposedly coming out swinging for the fences tomorrow. Our guy is smart. McCainPalin: tic tac toe :: Obama/Biden: Chess.

Count me in Team Cautiously Optimistic.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Remember Ron Paul?

He's still on the ballot. In Montana. On the Constitution Party ballot. Nate Silver has more.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

John McCain Gets Barack Roll'd

Thursday, September 04, 2008

My prediction

Tonight, John McCain will remind everyone that he was once a POW.

Another reason why vetting is good

Otherwise, you could end up with a VP candidate who helps bring in money for your Democratic rival.

Obama's coffers have been filling since Sarah Palin attacked him repeatedly in St. Paul last night.

An Obama aide confirms Drudge's report that Obama has raised about $8 million from more than 130,000 donors and is on pace to raise $10 million by the time McCain reaches the stage tonight.

Note to John McCain: why didn't you just hire Ann frackin' Coulter as your running mate if you wanted to energize the liberal base?

Another talking point the GOP can't use anymore

When McCain picked Sarah Palin, he lost the right to use the "lack of experience" talking point.

Now, with the 30 percenters in breathless rapture over a speech written for Palin by George W. Bush's team, they've automatically forfeited the right to sneer at liberals who like Obama's speeches.

"All he does is give a bunch of speeches, stoopid libs!"

All Sarah Palin's done so far is give a speech, wingnuts. You act as if she's the GOP's Next Big Thing. Even Peggy Noonan doesn't agree with you on that.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

A new theory of mine

There's a special GOP 1.0 software package that automatically generates these boring speeches. Just type in a few keywords and phrases--"Islamic terror," "liberal," "political correctness," "Obama," "higher taxes," "extreme left," "Democrat party"--and POOF! Instant GOP convention speech!

Mitt, give it up, willya?

Yosemite Mitt's giving a laundry list of right-wing cliches to a somewhat uninspired crowd. Of course, he jokes about Al Gore's private jet in a speech on energy.

Hey Yosemite. How much gas does your private jet cost?

The train wreck's a-comin'

HuffPo has excerpts from Sarah Palin's speech. On the bright side, it'll probably be better than Fred Thompson's. Then again, Governor Palin's special-needs kid could probably deliver a better speech than Fred did.

Uh, Governor Palin? I wouldn't go here if I were you:

And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involves. I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a 'community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities."

Because community organizers spend their work time flirting with co-workers and surfing the Web, right? Whoever wrote this is clearly not Palin's friend.

Garrison Keillor on McCain


And it's an amazing country where an Arizona multimillionaire can attack a Chicago South Sider as an elitist and hope to make it stick. The Chicagoan was brought up by a single mom who had big ambitions for him, and he got scholarshipped into Harvard Law and was made president of the law review, all of it on his own hook, whereas the Arizonan is the son of an admiral and was ushered into Annapolis though an indifferent student, much like the Current Occupant, both of them men who are very lucky that their fathers were born before they were. The Chicagoan, who grew up without a father, wrote a book on his own, using a computer. The Arizonan hired people to write his for him. But because the Chicagoan can say what he thinks and make sense and the Arizonan cannot do that for more than 30 seconds at a time, the old guy is hoping to portray the skinny guy as arrogant.

Good luck with that, sir.

This is more interesting than the convention

TNT is airing a lot of "Law and Order" reruns starring Uncle Fred. Is this intentional?

GOP stooges on the election: "It's over"

Karl Rove lookalike Mike Murphy and longtime GOP kiss-ass commentator Peggy Noonan on Governor Sarah Palin and the election--when they don't realize the mike is still on. Ben Smith points to Noonan's WSJ column in which she really, really tries to put a positive spin on the debacle.

After 2008, Noonan and Murphy will probably quit with the cheerleading and try to reposition themselves as mavericks who've been "liberated" from careers as professional GOP stooges. Kinda like Rush Limbaugh after he helped the Democrats gain control of Congress.

PS: This is all over the internet now. The Two Stooges are going to have a hard time living it down.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Oh my

Changed the channel after rolling my eyes at Uncle Fred's speech to watch a L&O rerun. And whose mug is on the screen in said rerun? Uncle Fred's. I bet they're airing the episode to coincide with his gripping RNC speech.

I like L&O: SVU better anyway.

The mother of all crybaby conservative alerts!

John McCain is mad at CNN. So mad that he canceled an appearance on Larry King.

Oh, yay. It's Fred Thompson

He's sounding like one of those bloviating relatives whom people tolerate at the holidays and otherwise try to avoid. And of course, he reminds everyone that McCain was a crappy student at the naval academy and couldn't stay out of trouble.

They canceled Rudy for this?

PS: Fred, we know McCain was a POW. You don't need to repeat it.


Dear President Bush:

Quit with the "angry left" boogeyman. These days, the "angry left" consists of most Americans.

Man, I can't wait until he talks about the "Democrat" party.

An observation regarding the president

George W. Bush is without a doubt one of the most wooden speakers this side of Pinnochio.

My theories regarding this convention

1. The real reason so many GOP politicians aren't attending is because they don't want to be bored to tears.

2. All this info about Sarah Palin is being leaked by lackeys of Tim Pawlenty and Yosemite Mitt, in revenge for not getting the nomination.

3. Dubya is giving his speech via satellite because he's afraid to be in the same convention center as his parents. He knows Poppy Bush is seriously mad at him.

Oh, barf

Laura Bush sounds really sincere when talking about all the wimmin in Dubya's cabinet. Except not.

She's now calling her husband "a man of character." Note she didn't say good character. Her intro is a case of the joke writing itself.

Shallow observation of the night

Ever since the DNC convention last week, Tweety's hair has looked plain awful. Has that man misplaced his comb? Or is he using Pat Buchanan's spittle as a substitute for hair gel?

Tim Pawlenty tries to avoid swearing loudly

Tweety was interviewing Pawlenty, and I gotta say that Pawlenty did a great job of hiding how pissed off he was at being passed over for the female version of an empty suit. Somewhere, however, Yosemite Mitt is probably screaming, "JOHN MCCAIN CAN GO TO H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS!!!!"

Quote of the night

From someone on MSNBC: "If Jeb Bush had been Jeb Smith, there would've been no Sarah Palin." Did someone just admit that the Bush family name is now political poison?

Crybaby conservative alert!

"Waaaaaah! Liberal meanies are picking on Sarah Palin! They're mean! An' they suck! Waaaaaah!"

P.S. In my opinion, Palin's hypocrisy is the real issue here. While she went hog-wild with the GOP family values/anti-abortion/religious fundamentalist hooey, her underage daughter was having sex with a self-proclaimed redneck kid who liked to use the word "fuckin'." At the risk of sounding like a liberal meanie, I think it would be really funny if one of her kids came out as gay 10 years from now. In the meantime, a lot of homeless teenage moms in Alaska are going to have a hard time finding a place to live because Palin cut the funding that could've helped them. Admit it. You're really shocked by this.

A break from the schadenfreude

UK rawkers Slade, performing "Coz I Love You." Note to the US radio programmers who refused to play this band: You suck.

Why vetting candidates is a good idea

For one thing, you're generally spared embarrassments like this:

(Via Atrios.)

A brave soul at the GOP convention

I'm talking about Steve Bell of the Guardian. That sketch of Tweedledee and Tweedledum--I mean, Laura Bush and Cindy McCain--is just too chilling for words. These are two subjects even Gallery of the Absurd would be frightened to touch.

Aw, poor Rudy

The GOP has dropped Rudy Giuliani as a convention speaker, replacing him with the more engaging...uh, I mean, more energizing...no, scratch that...more...oh, let's just say that Rudy's been replaced with other people.

Ladies and gentlemen, instead of Rudy, they'll have Fred Thompson and Joe Lieberman.

"Please, George, not at the convention. We don't want to frighten away what's left of our fundie base, do we?"

It could've been worse, of course. Rudy could be in the VP slot for this disaster of a campaign, facing Joe Biden in veep debates. This, of course, would remind everyone once again of Biden's remark: "There's only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, and a verb and 9/11."

Pop-pop-pop goes the popcorn

Forget the great Sarah Palin implosion. This? Is the most bestest, wonderfulest, most special part of the GOP convention so far.

And I do mean special. As in, you'd have to be truly "special" to want to show your face at a fundraiser for Tom "I Retreated, Then Surrendered" DeLay.

WTF was Smash Mouth doing there, anyhow?

"He's the man, he's the man," said one guest leaving the party.

"I've always liked him, he's a good solid conservative," said one delegate standing in line for entrance to the party, Corey Stewart, chairman of the Board of Supervisors in Prince William County, Virginia.

If "conservative" is a synonym for "corrupt, oily douchebag," then Corey Stewart may be right.

Other attendees--well, they tried to avoid making stupid remarks, doing other things to make themselves look stupid instead:

Asked his reaction to DeLay's appearance in Minneapolis, Cong. John Mica (R-FL) declined to answer and then head-butted the ABC camera.

Where's Rick Santorum in the middle of all this? Come back, Li'l Ricky! The GOP needs you! Really, really honest and truly!