The Truffle

Poetry that doesn't scan, that is. From The Stranger , some tea partier channels his/her inner Allen Ginsberg: I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW BLIND OBAMA YOU HAVE WAKEN UP A SLEEPING GIANT WE THE PEOPLE UNITED WE STAND AS ONE NATION TO SAY NO YOU MUST GO WE THE PEOPLE SAY NO YOU MUST GO IMPEACH OBAMA AND BRING HIM TO JUSTICE IMPEACH IMPEACH BRING HIM TO JUSTICE WITH ALL THE OTHER TRADERS TO WE THE PEOPLE AND THE CONTITUTION OF THE REPUBLIC OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WHO STAND TOGETHER AND WILL NOT FALL PLAY WE MAY BUTT WHEN NEEDED WE COME STAMPEDING PROWD AMERICANS READY TO FACE ANY ENEMIES FOREIGN OR DOMESTIC WE THE PEOPLE SAY THE CONTITUTION IS IN OUR HEARTS ONLY A TRUE AMERICAN KNOWS ITS TRUE PATH AND WILL DEFEND UNTIL DEATH YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOW'N FREEDOM WILL STAND FOR THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE Well, despite the line about bringing Obama to justice "with all the other traders," at least this person can spell "impeach." Then again, perhaps this particular te...

Via Balloon Juice comes this tale of rich conservatives with sour grapes--erm, I mean, right-wing populists : I stopped by Freedom Plaza on Tax Day to check on the progress of the nation's populist revolt. On the stage, I saw the great populist leader himself: Grover Norquist, who, after getting two Harvard degrees, developed his common-touch lobbying for the tropical island paradise of the Seychelles. Norquist spoke from a lectern bearing a Tea Party emblem and a simple message: "The people speak." And which people might those be? The people of the Seychelles tourist industry? Or the people of British Petroleum, Fannie Mae, the Distilled Spirits Council and the Interactive Gaming Council? Norquist represented them all, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. It gets better from there. Seriously, these teabaggers are being played like a cheap kazoo.

Ben Domenech was recruited several years ago as a Washington Post affirmative-action hire: They needed a conservative blogger to balance...uh, I guess to balance journalism that conservatives didn't like. Ben was then revealed as a serial plagiarist and had to resign this position. So what happened? CBS News hired the guy. They wanted to outdo CNN, I guess. CNN, of course, had hired Eric "Gimme my wife's shotgun and I'll point it at them thar census workers, pardner!" Erickson. How can CBS outdo the conservative crazy? By bringing in a winger with less ethics than Erickson, I guess. Benjy delivered the goods, repeating a rumor that potential supreme court nominee Elena Kagan is a lesbian . I'm on Team Who-Gives-A-Shit-If-She's-Gay. The White House denies she's gay. While I don't want to assume anything on Mr. Domenech's part, I'm sure he was aware that his right-wing readers might have certain opinions (possibly negative) about ...

Via Ed Brayton comes the Notorious GOP, a.k.a. Michael Steele and his interns gettin' doooowwwwwn ! But wait--is this a terrorist fist jab? At some point, a Fox News anchor's head will explode. No wonder the GOP pretends Rush is the party leader.

In 2006, Rush Limbaugh claimed he'd been "liberated" from his role as GOP stooge. Now, he's the freaking party's de facto leader, declaring once again, at CPAC, that he wants Obama to fail. This is good for the Democrats. In the words of Rahm Emmanuel on "Face the Nation": He's asked for President Obama and called for President Obama to fail. That's his view. And that's what he has enunciated. And whenever a Republican criticizes him, they have to run back and apologize to him and say they were misunderstood. He is the voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party. He has been up front about what he views and hasn't stepped back from that, which is he hopes for failure. He said it and I compliment him for his honesty. But that's their philosophy that is enunciated by Rush Limbaugh and I think that's the wrong philosophy for America.... When a Republican did attack him he clearly had a turn-around and ...

Chip Saltsman was, just a short time ago, one of the assorted wannabe GOP leaders. A candidate for party chairman, in fact. Now, however, the wannabe is a won't-be . Note to other GOP hopefuls: Do you guys want to be a Southern party forever? If the answer is "no," then quit with the racist crap, will you please?

Alberto Gonzales isn't the only Bush staffer who can't get hired. Via WaPo : As President-elect Barack Obama's team transitions into the federal government tomorrow, President Bush's political appointees will be locked out, and in these tough economic times many of them are scrambling to find new jobs. High-ranking White House loyalists have deluged Washington headhunters with pleas for jobs. Corporations and nonprofit organizations have stopped hiring. With the GOP out of power, jobs on Capitol Hill are scant and K Street lobbying firms have trimmed their golden parachutes. So this is the new reality: Instead of boasting to friends and colleagues of new jobs in goodbye e-mails, many longtime Bush aides have offered home phone numbers and Gmail and Yahoo e-mail addresses as their new contacts. "For Republicans, the inn is full," lamented veteran GOP operative Ron Kaufman, a close White House adviser to former president George H.W. Bush and an executive at Dut...

Against my better judgment, I checked out Freeperland in the aftermath of 11/4/08. Gawd, is it just me, or is Freeperland one ugly, poorly designed Web site? Anyhow, one of the Freepi (TM Badtux) reposts some helpful advice from the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review , a.k.a., The Richard Mellon Scaife Money-Losing Wingnut Daily . Scaife and company are trying to lick their wounds following the election and offer some helpful advice for their fellow Freepi, Scaife stooges, and wingnuts. The top of the list? Thin the RINO Herd . Big question: WHAT RINO herd? Even before Chris Shays lost his re-election bid, you can count on one hand the number of so-called RINOs left on Capitol Hill: Specter from PA, Snowe and Collins from Maine. Never fear, the author has concluded that the GOP is overrun with RINOs and has abandoned Reagan-style conservatism. The GOP has become an unprincipled, undisciplined, ineffective shell of its former self. It has a party structure controlled by lobbyists and spec...

Okay, it's really interesting that Buckley's kid is voting for Obama . Here's the stand-out quote from Buckley fils: Dear Pup once said to me sighfully after a right-winger who fancied himself a WFB protégé had said something transcendently and provocatively cretinous, “You know, I’ve spent my entire life time separating the Right from the kooks.” Well, the dear man did his best. First of all: Pup? Chris Buckley calls his dad PUP? Second of all: WHEN did William F. Buckley lift a finger to weed out the nutcases in his movement? Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Ann Coulter write for his little magazine at one point? Oh sure, she was finally shit-canned for suggesting that the US should--what was that again?--"invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." But Buckley et al. probably knew how unhinged Trash Can Ann really was when they hired her. Even after the National Review sacked Annie, it continued to employ lik...

Spent the night at a show with Le Sweetie. Meat Puppets, followed by Dinosaur, Jr., followed by Built to Spill. Verdict? Show was awesome. Didn't miss the debates. But man, J. Mascis has gone graaaaaaaaaay. He's well on his way to being one of those aging hipsters who haven't changed their appearance since they were 16 or so. He's got long, long gray hair and all he needs is a tie-dye shirt now. I have to catch on footage of all the debate jabs, punditry, and Palinesque interview gaffes I've missed. Especially Palin's gaffes. Like this one from her chat with Couric. She's explaining why she didn't get a passport until last year or so: I’m not one of those who maybe came from a background of, you know, kids who perhaps graduate college and their parents give them a passport and give them a backpack and say go off and travel the world. No, I’ve worked all my life. In fact, I usually had two jobs all my life until I had kids. I was not a part of, I g...

When McCain picked Sarah Palin, he lost the right to use the "lack of experience" talking point. Now, with the 30 percenters in breathless rapture over a speech written for Palin by George W. Bush's team, they've automatically forfeited the right to sneer at liberals who like Obama's speeches. "All he does is give a bunch of speeches, stoopid libs!" All Sarah Palin's done so far is give a speech, wingnuts. You act as if she's the GOP's Next Big Thing. Even Peggy Noonan doesn't agree with you on that.

Karl Rove lookalike Mike Murphy and longtime GOP kiss-ass commentator Peggy Noonan on Governor Sarah Palin and the election--when they don't realize the mike is still on. Ben Smith points to Noonan's WSJ column in which she really, really tries to put a positive spin on the debacle. After 2008, Noonan and Murphy will probably quit with the cheerleading and try to reposition themselves as mavericks who've been "liberated" from careers as professional GOP stooges. Kinda like Rush Limbaugh after he helped the Democrats gain control of Congress. PS: This is all over the internet now. The Two Stooges are going to have a hard time living it down.

Forget the great Sarah Palin implosion. This? Is the most bestest, wonderfulest, most special part of the GOP convention so far. And I do mean special . As in, you'd have to be truly "special" to want to show your face at a fundraiser for Tom "I Retreated, Then Surrendered" DeLay. WTF was Smash Mouth doing there, anyhow? "He's the man, he's the man," said one guest leaving the party. "I've always liked him, he's a good solid conservative," said one delegate standing in line for entrance to the party, Corey Stewart, chairman of the Board of Supervisors in Prince William County, Virginia. If "conservative" is a synonym for "corrupt, oily douchebag," then Corey Stewart may be right. Other attendees--well, they tried to avoid making stupid remarks, doing other things to make themselves look stupid instead: Asked his reaction to DeLay's appearance in Minneapolis, Cong. John Mica (R-FL) declined to answe...

From the Department of Manufactured Outrage and Nonsensical Controversies comes the latest right-wing fit over...an "O" salute. It's the brainchild of an LA ad agency unconnected with the Obama campaign. The agency is hoping it'll catch on. Think what you will of this idea. Dave Neiwert thinks it looks dorky. I have no opinion of it either way. But the rightie blogosphere is making a big deal about it. I guess John McCain really is boring to write about. Or perhaps they just squirm a lot when they think of the guy. Anyway, at least one poster makes me seriously believe that perhaps Godwin's law should be reinstated. As US News and World Report notes, it's not unlike George W. Bush's supporters holding up three fingers to form a "W." Which happened a lot in 2000. I know, I know...IOKIYAR...

How does Michele Bachmann keep getting elected when she's got the intellectual capacity of a beer bottle? She thinks the US should drill in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge because there isn't any wildlife there . The TPM link takes you to Bachmann's National Review article, which shows aerial photographs of ANWR. As in pictures taken from the air . As in, you can't tell if there's any wildlife because you're in a plane and you're too high above the ground to see anything. Here is a list of ANWR's wildlife, in case anyone's interested. If you click it, you'll find some photographs of wolves and caribou and tundra swans and dall sheep and all sorts of animals that Bachmann pretends don't exist. It gets better. She also thinks that we don't need to worry about the environment because Jesus saved the world 2,000 years ago . How do her constituents justify voting for her, anyway?

Note to Andrew Rosenthal: It's nice that your daddy was friends with Bill Kristol's daddy. But dude? You may want to rethink this little op-ed gig you gave him. Especially after his latest embarrassment : Early Friday, I went to the Real Clear Politics Web site, as I do every morning, for my fix of political news and commentary. I perked up when I saw the third entry on the list of that day’s notable articles — “No. 44 Has Spoken.” “Hank Aaron has spoken? Wow,” I thought as I clicked through. Yes, it's Bill Kristol, professional papa's boy and perennial Mr. Wrong, pretending he's a Troo AMERIKAN!11!!1! He likes baseball! He likes Hank Aaron! He's trying for the same right-wing populist shtick that Rush Limbaugh works when he isn't spending his millions on Oxycontin and admitting he's a right-wing water carrier. Said shtick involves Kristol being really disappointed that Der Spiegel was writing about Barack Obama and not Hank Aaron. Actually, I th...

Is it just me, or is the Obama/Osama meme getting really boring and overused? I can't even get offended over some mouthbreathing state senator. I just wonder if this is really the best he can do. Via Kiss My Big Blue Butt .

Where else but on Faux News can you hear a sociopathic winger condemn the idea of public service--and misquote Jefferson in the process? Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jonathan Hoenig, 1980s yuppie holdover, author of (no joke) Greed Is Good , and believer in the I've-got-mine-so-hit-the-road-you-rube approach to life. "It was Thomas Jefferson who once said that public service and private misery are inseparably linked," Hoenig told the hosts of Fox & Friends, referring to a letter in which Jefferson expressed a concern near the end of the Revolutionary War that 13 years of public service had left his private affairs in "great disorder." Yeah, a WAR will do that. I'm sure George Washington, Dwight Eisenhower, and Ulysses S. Grant felt the same way at some point in their lives, but they didn't use it as an excuse to behave like assholes. And they never pooh-poohed the idea of public service. "There is a belief now," Hoenig went on, "that ...

This time, he compares Obama's national service plan to slavery, twisting himself into a pretzel as he whines about government and sings the praises of volunteerism. Volunteerism, by the way, is exactly what Obama is proposing. Check out Obama's Web site and you'll see that he calls for...get ready for this... universal voluntary public service . That's what it's called right there on the Web site. In other words, something other than slavery. Meanwhile, I hope Pantload is simply volunteering as an op-ed writer, because I hate the thought of the LA Times (or any paper) paying him to write this stuff.

Right-wingers hate the movie. And, as expected, they invoke the name of the Great Vice-Beelzebub himself, Al Gore, who's become even more beastly than Bill Clinton in the collective subconscious of the wingnutosphere. The National Review even titled one of their blogs "Planet Gore." ("It's his planet. We're just living on it, goddamn it!") Good gravy, didn't these people learn anything from their little "Happy Feet" hissy fit? Okay, in the interest of balance, I'll mention that at least one rightie defends the film as an "indictment of liberalism." Uh-huh. Pixar's a regular propaganda arm of the great lumbering movement-conservative juggernaut, all right. "Hey doods! Ann Coulter's getting predictable. Let's make a cartoon robot our newest mascot!" Michael "Gay Penguins" Medved has yet to register his opinion of the film, but one former colleague predicts he probably won't enjo...