The Truffle

Badtux does the linky thang to a Wired piece about the civilization-destroying threat posed by...computer malware and spam. Don't look at me. It's the right-wing Hoover Institution sounding the alarm over what their distinguished fellows (suppresses chuckle) call eWMDs. That's short for electronic weapons of mass destruction. In other words, malware programs, viruses, and those annoying FREE MEDS e-mails are somehow as dangerous as nukes and biological weapons. And the US should enlist the National Guard to track down these idiots--er, I mean, terrorist masterminds. Sounds like someone at Hoover got carried away after deleting the junk mail from his e-mail inbox. Another group, calling itself the Commission on Cybersecurity for the 44th Presidency, has suggest sanctions for countries that harbor cybercriminals. File this one under Ideas that Sound Badass But Are Totally Unworkable. Why do I have a feeling these cybersecurity "experts" aren't very fami...

Hey kids! It's the Clean Coal Carolers ! A new energy policy can't come soon enough...

The Wall Street Journal notes that Obama "appears to be moving left with some of his new choices" for cabinet posts. Specifically, he's an energy czar and an EPA head who are actually serious about reducing greenhouse gases. He has also hired a Nobel Prize-winning physicist for Secretary of Energy. In other words, he's hired competent people who are serious about their jobs. I am, needless to say, somewhat optimistic about this new administration. (Via The Great Beyond .)

This has got to be the most ridiculous idea since grunge fashion. If Abbath Doom Occulta starts appearing at runway shows, you'll know civilization has truly gone to hell in a handbasket. Via The Daily Swarm .

Seriously, that part of the world has produced one of the silliest musical movements in recent memory. No, I'm not talking about Roxette or Ace of Base. The movement in question is black metal , one of those fringe genres consisting of super-serious corpse-painted wannabe-demonic metal acts trying to convince the world how eeeeeeeeeeevil they truly are. To be fair, a handful were involved in church burnings during the 1990s. Black metal even has its own Charles Manson in the person of Varg Vikernes , who's now doing time for murder. All in all, however, black metal tends to outdo even Marilyn Manson in terms of unintentional humor. The dudes in the picture above are Horgh and Abbath Doom Occulta of the band Immortal. You can see how black! metal! they really are, can't you? I guess posing for pictures with your fly open is also really black! metal! Right, Abbath? Both pictures are taken from this list . It's NSFW, but definitely funny. If you're hankerin...

Here is Ladyhawke's video for "Paris Is Burning." She gets extra points for the Snoopy shirt.

I checked out the infamous Freeperland right after the election. Man, that is one ugly, poorly designed Web site. Can't they get some nice rich right-winger to give them money to, I dunno, hire a professional Web designer? I mean, it's bad enough that the Freepi are a bunch of whiny paste-eaters. Can't they make that site look good?

Latest post-election spin is that the South's political influence is waning. Along with that is the spin that the GOP remains entrenched in the Deep South while the rest of the nation floats leftward. Note the NYT graphics for more details. Arkansas, in particular, looks positively crimson in places. Yup, that Southern strategy sure worked, as the ghost of Nixon could attest. However, there is a down side to said strategy . Louisiana has displaced Mississippi as the unhealthiest U.S. state and other Southern states were close rivals due to high obesity and smoking rates in new rankings that deemed Vermont the healthiest.... Many Southern states were clustered near the bottom of the rankings. The region has some of the highest rates of obesity, which contributes to heart disease, stroke, diabetes and some types of cancer, as well as high rates of smoking, which causes cancer, lung disease, heart disease and other problems. One in five Louisianians lacked health insurance, while...

I call it Noonan's Rule, in honor of Peggy "Palin Pick Is Bullshit" Noonan. The rule is this: If you're anywhere near a microphone, assume it's live. No ifs, ands, or buts. And don't say anything around a microphone that would embarrass you if it were broadcast in Times Square. The latest to violate Noonan's rule is Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania, who said that Janet Napolitano would be a great head of Homeland Security because she has "no life" and "no family." Campbell Brown, needless to say, has some words for Governor Rendell. As she and Jack Cafferty noted, Napolitano's predecessors were both married and had kids. Rendell, Brown, and Cafferty all miss one small fact: Napolitano may be unmarried, but she does, in fact, have a family. She has a dad, a grandmother, siblings, nieces, and nephews. There are pictures of them a family album on the governor's Web site. You don't think she might enjoy taking a bre...

Guess WHICH Palin?

Against my better judgment, I checked out Freeperland in the aftermath of 11/4/08. Gawd, is it just me, or is Freeperland one ugly, poorly designed Web site? Anyhow, one of the Freepi (TM Badtux) reposts some helpful advice from the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review , a.k.a., The Richard Mellon Scaife Money-Losing Wingnut Daily . Scaife and company are trying to lick their wounds following the election and offer some helpful advice for their fellow Freepi, Scaife stooges, and wingnuts. The top of the list? Thin the RINO Herd . Big question: WHAT RINO herd? Even before Chris Shays lost his re-election bid, you can count on one hand the number of so-called RINOs left on Capitol Hill: Specter from PA, Snowe and Collins from Maine. Never fear, the author has concluded that the GOP is overrun with RINOs and has abandoned Reagan-style conservatism. The GOP has become an unprincipled, undisciplined, ineffective shell of its former self. It has a party structure controlled by lobbyists and spec...

All this talk about firsts in black history and black leaders, yet no mention of Thurgood Marshall. NAACP lawyer in the Brown vs. Board of Education decision. One of the guys who helped end Jim Crow laws. First black Supreme Court Justice. And the media ignores him. HELLO? What's going on here?

Courtesy of The Root, some advice for whites and blacks following the election.

For all the blather over San Francisco as a supposed liberal paradise, the place sure does attract some reactionary freaks. I mean, Michael Savage is based in the Bay Area. Michael. Savage. And now this moron compares Obama's election to...get ready for this... O.J. Simpson's murder trial . I am not making this up. Of course, the guy hasn't signed his name, which makes me wonder if The Shock Jock Formerly Known as Michael Weiner hasn't taken to posting anonymously online. Nah, probably not. There really are people stupid enough to write shit like this: Obama is President, good. I can't wait for all the black people to want their free cheese. The truth of the matter is he being part black will not help you. Get off your asses and solidify YOUR LIVES. Millions of black men will not be freed from prison. Ebonics will not be taught in our schools and basketball will not replace Math as a standard of national education. And oh goody, another idiot has followed u...

A humble request for the Precious Princess: Via Accordion Guy .

The projected winner in the Oregon Senate race is Jeff Merkley over Gordon Smith . It's a little sad that Smith lost. His cousins Mark and Tom Udall were just elected and the next Congress could've been a big ol' family reunion. Almost, anyway. Except that Smith's a Republican, while the Udalls are Democrats. Thus far, Georgia, Alaska, and Minnesota are still in vote-counting limbo.

Elizabeth Dole's concession speech: "I urge you also to join me in praying for God to guide and support Kay Hagan." Gee, Liddy, I thought you said she didn't believe in God. Just think: this lady could've been America's First Lady at some point. Makes you shudder, doesn't it?

That's what 2008's Economics Nobel laureate calls it. Last night wasn’t just a victory for tolerance; it wasn’t just a mandate for progressive change; it was also, I hope, the end of the monster years. What I mean by that is that for the past 14 years America’s political life has been largely dominated by, well, monsters. Monsters like Tom DeLay, who suggested that the shootings at Columbine happened because schools teach students the theory of evolution. Monsters like Karl Rove, who declared that liberals wanted to offer “therapy and understanding” to terrorists. Monsters like Dick Cheney, who saw 9/11 as an opportunity to start torturing people. And in our national discourse, we pretended that these monsters were reasonable, respectable people. To point out that the monsters were, in fact, monsters, was “shrill.” Four years ago it seemed as if the monsters would dominate American politics for a long time to come. But for now, at least, they’ve been banished to the wilderness....

The snark. Ah well...a handful of GOP cretins got re-elected: Boehner, Mean Jean, the execrable Michele Bachmann. Poor Michelle Malkin is fuming over the GOP; Ann Coulter is promising to go after the Republicans who supported McCain. Let the right-wing circular firing squad get down to business. And pass the popcorn!

Ann Telnaes does the best Palin caricature I've ever seen.

More from Huffpo. Virgil Goode and Marilyn Musgrave have been voted out. Good riddance.

CNN calls it for Obama. I've waited four years for this day.

The late, great Curtis Mayfield, with the Impressions, performing "This Is My Country."

New Mexico and Iowa have gone for Obama. If/when he wins California, Oregon, Hawaii, and Washington, he's got it in the bag. No wonder McCain's headquarters looks like a funeral.

No more GOP New Englanders in the House.

From a celebrity/pop culture discussion board: Didn't Palin say she prayed over the election? Well I guess God didn't want her in the White House!!

The guy on the screen looked really glum. Awwwwwwww....

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! My favorite discussion boards are hoppin' tonight, as is Facebook. So far, Obama has 200 electoral votes to McCain's 124.

On CNN, they're reporting from McCain's Ohio campaign office. It's seriously glum. Meanwhile, outside CNN's office, it's like Christmas has come early. Me, I'm happy to be following the news on TV with Le Sweetie.

...would be if Mean Jean Schmidt, Michele Bachmann, and Marilyn Musgrave got tossed out of office this year.

OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO! OBAMA TAKES OHIO!

"There's no prize for second." Someone actually has a clue.

Tom Udall is projected to win the Senate seat in New Mexico, replacing Pete Domenici. That's four Democratic Senate pickups so far. The GOP gave up on New Mexico a while ago, making things much easier for Udall. I have to say, I'm fine with Susan Collins winning in Maine.

You just lost a Senate seat formerly held by Jesse Helms. Jesse. HELMS. You might not want to bring that up in future Viagra commercials. You are planning on more quality time with Bob, aren't you? PS: YIKES! What the hell is Tom DeLay doing on MSNBC? Tweety, quit inviting that prick onto your show. He's icky and nobody likes him! EW! EW! EW!

Jay Nixon wins the governorship of Missouri. So that's another Dem governorship. Note to Karl Rove: How does that permanent GOP majority look, dude?

Why, YES I voted. This morning. For Obama. I didn't need to mention that, did I?

The crowd at Team McCain in Phoenix looks like a gathering of Depressives Anonymous. If Florida goes for Obama (and he is leading thus far in that state) it would be perfect payback for 2000. To Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris: Suck on it, assholes. Liddy Dole probably sank her campaign with her sleazy little ad against Kay Hagan. Note for future politicians: Don't run attack ads painting Sunday school teachers as God-hatin' atheists. It could backfire. Enjoy your retirement, Liddy.

The suspense is killing me. Thus far, Obama leads in electoral votes. He's projected to win New Hampshire and Pennsylvania. In a word, OW for McCain. On CNN, they are reporting from Chicago and Phoenix, AZ. The gathered Democrats are all happy and enthusiastic and they are waving flags left and right. The Republicans in Phoenix are pretty somber. They have a boys' choir performing. Can't they get Charlie Daniels, at the very least. Le Sweetie is very happy that McCain lost Pennsylvania. "He busted his ass there and he got his butt kicked!" Hagan won North Carolina, which means soon-to-be former Senator Liddy Dole will have time to appear in Viagra commercials with Bob. John Sununu lost in New Hampshire; Jean Shaheen is the new senator. Mark Warner won in Virginia. That's 3 Senate seats for Democrats.

McCain probably wishes he'd suspended his godforsaken campaign for good last month. Barry Goldwater's granddaughter has endorsed Obama. She speaks for her siblings and some cousins as well. Ow. OW! Even McCain campaign chairs are saying he's toast. William Weld, ex-governor of Massachusetts, backs Obama. (Yes, I know what the Freepers will say: "Weld's a RINO, anyway. Who needs him?") Another, erm, RINO for Obama is...drum roll please... Julie Nixon Eisenhower . Julie. NIXON. EISENHOWER. Former Republican Senators Charles Mathias and Larry Pressler also back Obama. So does former Minnesota governor Arne Carlson . Wow. A lot of old-school, long-time Republicans there. It sounds like a lot of them are really, really unhappy with their party. For many of them, this could be their first ever vote for a Democrat. Before the Freepers laugh them off, let's let Larry Pressler have the last word: "We have to be a moderate party. We can't be f...

More details emerge on the horrible murders of Jennifer Hudson's mom, brother, and nephew. From (groan) TMZ : We've obtained arrest reports and other docs in connection with a sting operation in Chicago. On March 4, 2002, Chicago cops targeted Jason Hudson, Jennifer's murdered brother, and Gregory King, the father of Julian, the murdered 7-year-old boy. Both men allegedly sold crack cocaine to a registered informant. Cops then raided the very home where Jason was murdered last week. According to documents, Jason, Gregory and Julia (Jennifer's sister) were all arrested. Julia was never charged with a crime. Jason was charged with cocaine trafficking, but the main count was dismissed in 2004 because the judge ruled police conducted an illegal search. During that hearing, Jennifer's mom had to choose whether to go to Hollywood to watch her daughter on "American Idol" or be in court...she chose the latter. Gregory was convicted. Jason agreed to enroll in a dr...

From a campaign Web site that Mr. Palin probably doesn't even know about. And to top it all off, Mr. Palin, having hosted a travel show, knows foreign affairs like the back of his hand. While he can't see Russia from his house, maybe he can see Continental Europe.

In the midst of the electoral tomfoolery, I've had trouble keeping up, which is one reason I've been light on the posting. The other reason is that I have had a freelance project and done some volunteering for Team Obama, which has cut into my free time. But no longer. Someone needs to alert the wingnutosphere! Terrorist fist gestures have found their way into America's pastime ! Someone call Faux News! Michelle Bachmann! John McCain's campaign! Someone! Anyone! Even all-American white dudes are doing it now...

I found this video made by Janette Hillis-Jaffe, an Orthodox Jewish mother of two, explaining while she'll be voting for Obama. More on Hillis-Jaffe here .

Just learned that Mr. Stubbs, the Four Tops' lead singer, died at the age of 72. I was stunned to learn he was, well, that old. First Isaac Hayes and now Levi. As a lover of all things old-school soul, I'm seriously saddened. In honor of Mr. Stubbs, here are a couple of clips of the Tops at their commercial height. RIP Levi. You've earned it.

Blondie rules. Enough said.

Via Newshoggers we find Jules Crittenden in meltdown mode over Paul Krugman's Nobel Prize. I wouldn’t want to suggest Krugman excuses terrorism or hates America. It is likely, however, that his extensive Bush-bashing, Saddam-dismissing, GWOT-mocking absurdism was a heavy thumb on the Nobel scale. Curious that an economist whose work on patterns and locations is Nobel-worthy couldn’t do the math to figure out that a sociopathic mass-murdering megalomaniac with a pattern of supporting terrorism, seeking WMD and invading neighbors, located on some of the most strategically important real estate on Earth, with whom much of Europe was eager to trade again, is someone who could no longer be tolerated.... Memo to Bushitler regime: Is there a reason Krugman is not yet locked up in the hated Crusader gulag of al-Guantanomiyah with the traitors Moore and Cronkite? Say, isn't Jules Crittenden the same whiner who published John Cole's home address when Cole became a Democrat? Why y...

Okay, it's really interesting that Buckley's kid is voting for Obama . Here's the stand-out quote from Buckley fils: Dear Pup once said to me sighfully after a right-winger who fancied himself a WFB protégé had said something transcendently and provocatively cretinous, “You know, I’ve spent my entire life time separating the Right from the kooks.” Well, the dear man did his best. First of all: Pup? Chris Buckley calls his dad PUP? Second of all: WHEN did William F. Buckley lift a finger to weed out the nutcases in his movement? Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Ann Coulter write for his little magazine at one point? Oh sure, she was finally shit-canned for suggesting that the US should--what was that again?--"invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." But Buckley et al. probably knew how unhinged Trash Can Ann really was when they hired her. Even after the National Review sacked Annie, it continued to employ lik...

Via Andrew Sullivan , a really sweet vid of an Iraq war veteran returning home to be greeted by his pooches. Just watch it and tell me you don't get a little sniffly.

Should I bother to watch the final presidential debate or will it just not be worth the bother? I mean, I kinda know what to expect at this point.

Here's a concept even scarier to the wingers than "President Barack Hussein Obama": Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman. Yes, he now received the same economics previously won by Milton Friedman. Somewhere, Rupert Murdoch is crying in his beer--or, in his case, expensive cognac. At some point, reality overload will set in amongst the movement conservatives. I'm not sure I want to be in the room when it happens.

If you want to sound inspiring, try talking about hockey moms and Joe Sixpack. Oh, wait...never mind.

"Obama will cut taxes and small businesses will have to fire people OMG OMG OMG!!!1!1!" Of course, Brokaw doesn't let Obama respond. So Obama has to wait for another question and then tie it into the tax claim.

"Obama hasn't taken on the leaders of his party on a single issue." Uh...Senator McCain? Obama's party wasn't in the White House. They weren't the ones who ran the country into the ground. That was YOUR party. YOU only made a handful of token gestures in opposition to the Stupid-in-Chief. And quit whining about earmarks. Don't tell me Arizona hasn't gotten earmarks.

I'm not comfortable with the caricature of McCain as a mean grump. I think McCain is afflicted with the Bob Dole syndrome. Dole let himself be cast as a cranky old man. After he lost, he showed that he actually had a sense of humor! Dude appeared on Cartoon Network talking about Bugs Bunny. He did a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. For an old fogey failed presidential candidate, Dole is actually kind of a funny guy. I wonder why he didn't follow Fred Thompson into acting. I'm hoping McCain loses so that maybe he can take up a second post-Senate career as a standup comedian. Or maybe a nightclub act with Cindy. Admit it--you've always wanted to see Cindy McCain in a sequined dress, standing next to John McCain as he sings "Big Spender."

McCain reminds everyone of how he suspended his campaign in a display of political grandstanding serious effort to aid with the bailout. Uh, Senator? That was basically a PR disaster for you. Someone bring up Phil Gramm. Please. McCain is trying his whole faux maverick schtick. Sure, it's about as authentic as Naugahyde. He's calling Fannie and Freddie "the match that started this forest fire." Which automatically reminds me of a lame Billy Joel song. "I've got to correct a little of McCain's history, not surprisingly." MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Once again, it's up to the grown ups (Obama and Biden) to let everyone know that just because Little Johnny and Little Precious Princess Palin pretend they're mavericks, this doesn't mean that they really are mavericks. Some people should stick to playing house, ya know what I'm saying?

Thus far, it can be boiled down to: Obama: "People in America are struggling and really need help." McCain: "People need help and I'll really try to sound inspiring. Can't you tell how inspiring I am?"

Let me repeat myself. I love love love LOVE this election season. This is the year that 2004's usual gang of idiots are watching their slimy tactics come back to bite them on the ass. Case in point: Jerome Corsi, who was booted out of Kenya for lacking a work permit. Dear oh dear.

Fidel and Raul Castro are not "dangerous dictators." Yes, they're dictators, but they haven't been dangerous for...well...several years. They're dinosaurs. Please bone up on your foreign affairs.

Palin: "I'm gonna look right at the cameras and try to be telegenic as I say things that people told me to say." Biden: "Excuse me. She just said a lot of stuff that's bullshit, and I can explain very clearly why it's bullshit." PS: Oh great. Did she just say "white flag of surrender"? Someone who prepped her hasn't gotten the memo that this cliche is discredited. PPS: She's saying "nukuler" and not "nuclear."

It'll go like this: Joe Biden: Knowledgeable discussion of Iraq, Russia, Iran, and other countries. Precious Princess: "I'm right next to Russia!"

Palin has rehearsed very nicely, but she sounds really vapid. Joe Sixpack. Hockey moms. Is there a string in her back you can pull to make her spout this stuff? Biden maybe needs to sound more populist. Or even state more of his own views. But he's pointing out where McCain has gotten the economy wrong. Whoops! Biden relates a conversation with a guy whom he met at a gas station. Palin keeps saying "darn." Her eyes are weirdly vacant. Why does Biden keep lowering his gaze. Of course, Biden calls her on the lie that Obama voted to raise taxes. From Daily Kos: "TALK TO THE EFFIN' CAMERA, BIDEN!" Uh oh! Ifill points out that taxing health benefits is a bad idea! Bad liberal media mean lady Ifill! Baaaaaaaaaaad Ifill! Biden talks about fairness and points out that most Americans will not see a tax increase. He's really got the patience of a saint to debate this twit. She's channeling St. Ronnie Reagan. Except probably not.

Can Palin be any more cliched? I mean, really, she repeated that "mavericks" line again. The Precious Princess is not sounding convincing.

Well, this is very interesting news. Even a raving bigot has decided to vote for Obama. Specifically, he referred to Obama using the word that rhymes with "bigger." (Via Badtux .)

The liberal media is so, so mean to her.

You're on Olbermann, saying you think Palin will do well in the debate and is a good speaker. Senator, there's a damn "D" after your name. Will you and everyone else in your party stop flattering vapid wingers? I know you've mostly stopped doing this, but really...STOP IT!!!!

The lady's name is Toyah Wilcox and she was a punk star in the UK during the early 1980s. Nobody in the US knows who she is, except for a handful of King Crimson fans, who know she's married to Robert Fripp. This clip is from "Urgh! A Music War" and it's a really striking song. Early 1980s synthy dance rock at its best.

Team McCain seems to be throwing in the towel and sending campaigners to states like...Maine. Reliably Dem-leaning, true-blue Maine. What else can they do to bungle this campaign? How about having Sarah Palin do another in-depth interview? With Keith Olbermann?

Gwen Ifill has written a book called The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama . The book hasn't been published yet. In fact, the book won't hit the shelves until January. However, since she has written a book with "Obama" in the title, the wingnutosphere is convinced that she won't be a fair moderator for tonight's VP debate. I know the righties are unusually protective of the Precious Princess. But throwing a snit fit over a book none of these yahoos have read yet? This is really, really reaching. WorldNutDaily has decided it's a pro-Obama book, because...uh...because why, really? Actually, it's likely that "Obama" is included in the book's title because, well, he's the best-known African-American in politics today. Nobody knows if this book will really the puff portrayal that Joe Scarborough, Michelle Malkin, et al. are pretending it is. Actually, here is the description on Amazon . Ifill argues that the Bla...

A wingnut compares young Obama supporters to Hitler Youth. Can we reinstate Godwin's law? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzeee?

Rumor has it that McLame really wanted Joe Lieberman for his VP pick but was prodded into picking the Precious Princess. Lieberman was subsequently put in charge of giving her a crash course in foreign affairs. This seems to have consisted mainly of Lieberman unrolling a map of the world and telling her, "Now, Alaska is here , and Russia is here ! You and Putin are practically next door neighbors! Isn't that great!" But I wonder if Lieberman is, like Yosemite Mitt and Pawlenty, secretly mad at McCain for passing him over. It would explain some of the Precious Princess' gaffes. Joe Lieberman has purposely done a crappy job of prepping her for the national stage to revenge himself on McLame. Thus, instead of being able to explain the Bush doctrine, the Precious Princess gives Charles Gibson a deer-in-headlights look. My boyfriend says I'm giving Lieberman too much credit, and I probably am. But it's still a fun theory, yes?

A few misguided feminists like Rebecca Walker are trying to wrap their brains around the concept of a conservative Republican female VP candidate by...claiming she somehow is a feminist with a different concept of feminism. (Click the linky and you'll find the Walker babbling about "feminist think tanks." What feminist think tanks?) To anyone who babbles about Palin's supposed feminism, here is a nasty fact: When Sarah Palin was mayor of Wasilla, rape victims had to pay for their rape kits. Yes, that's right, the victim herself had to foot the cost of providing evidence to arrest and prosecute her rapist. The logic was that the victim could charge her insurance company the cost of the rape kit. Of course, if she didn't have health insurance, she had to pay for the rape kit out of her own pocket. And what if she's poor and has no insurance and can't pay for the rape kit? Well, gee, just because some of Palin's government policies were harmfu...

Bet you didn't know the Precious Princess' parents have taken up a post-retirement career as rat killers . Gee, her family sounds like a tough-as-nails bunch. But even Momsy and Popsy are protesting the media's supposedly shabby treatment of their little princess. Methinks they doth protest too much. For one thing, CBS still hasn't aired one potentially damning segment. Basically the Precious Princess only knows about one Supreme Court case: Roe vs. Wade. Did she study American history? If so, did she pay attention in class or just cheat off the other students during exams?

Republicans in Washington have been unusually lachrymose during the past month. And I don't think it's just the public self-immolation of Sarah Palin. Or even the inevitable election losses in November. No, it's mean, awful Nancy Pelosi who said some horrible things that hurt their feelings. In fact, some House Republicans were so hurt that they voted against the bailout. Oh, boo fucking hoo. If Democrats could suffer through twelve years of GOP fucktards like Newt Gingrich, Dick Armey, Tom DeLay, and Dennis Hastert treating them like subhumans worth only of ridicule, then Republicans should be thick-skinned enough to withstand a few "hurtful" comments by one of those wimpy San Francisco liberals they hate so much. From TAPPED : Clearly, Boehner couldn't deliver the votes and he's trying to blame someone else for being ineffectual. But his excuse doesn't make the House GOP look better, it makes them look worse. Boehner is saying that his Party is...

Obama tells McCain what everyone already knows, and McCain is probably thinking, "I wonder if it's too late to go back to Arizona and sit out the rest of this godforsaken campaign."

Spent the night at a show with Le Sweetie. Meat Puppets, followed by Dinosaur, Jr., followed by Built to Spill. Verdict? Show was awesome. Didn't miss the debates. But man, J. Mascis has gone graaaaaaaaaay. He's well on his way to being one of those aging hipsters who haven't changed their appearance since they were 16 or so. He's got long, long gray hair and all he needs is a tie-dye shirt now. I have to catch on footage of all the debate jabs, punditry, and Palinesque interview gaffes I've missed. Especially Palin's gaffes. Like this one from her chat with Couric. She's explaining why she didn't get a passport until last year or so: I’m not one of those who maybe came from a background of, you know, kids who perhaps graduate college and their parents give them a passport and give them a backpack and say go off and travel the world. No, I’ve worked all my life. In fact, I usually had two jobs all my life until I had kids. I was not a part of, I g...

He needs to remind the American people that he was a POW.

I didn't even bother to watch or liveblog his dumb bailout speech. He has become utterly predictable with his incompetence. Four more months of this crap and then it'll be all over. Yay.

Once again, wingnuts' ridicule has come back to bite them on the ass. Is this money coming from campaign funds? Or is Cindy loaning him the money? So, John McCain has reportedly paid more than $5,500 to Tifanie White, the makeup artist who works on "American Idol," for similar cosmetic services. It is yet another incident of a politician -- regardless of ideological stripe -- coughing up a lot of money for the sake of good looks. Earlier this cycle, one may recall, former Sen. John Edwards was subjected to days of ridicule over the fact that he had made two separate payments of $400 for two haircuts. Leading the charge was the media -- keen on pointing out that a self-professed man of the people was spending the equivalent of a months rent, in some places, on personal grooming. Maybe he wants to upstage the Precious Princess.

Perhaps one reason we still don't have a woman president is that in America, women politicians are not thought of simply as politicians . Before a woman--any woman--can clear that particular hurdle, she is subject to endless examination of her family, her fashion sense, her personal habits, and her general life choices. Team McCain, in their efforts to protect the Precious Princess, conveniently ignores this fact. They would like the public to accept the Precious Princess as a rootin'-tootin', moose shootin' ball-buster, while whining about the media meanies who just totally have it in for her. ( Cambell Brown , meanwhile, has called them on their general dishonesty. Somehow, I don't remember the Clinton White House insisting on similar kid-glove treatment of La Hill.) Meanwhile, Tzipi Livni has could become Israel's first female prime minister since Golda Meir. And weirdly enough, the Israeli press isn't the least bit interested in Livni's non-...

Clay Aiken reveals he's gay. Who didn't see this coming?

Precious Princess Palin: "Waaaaaaaaaah! Mean Democrats are bein' mean! WAAAAAAAAH!"

Tweety takes on a GOP congresscritter. The congresscritter squirms, big time.

A CNN poll finds that the GOP is taking most of the blame for this recent Wall Street meltdown. In the new survey, released Monday afternoon, 47 percent of registered voters questioned say Republicans are more responsible for the problems currently facing financial institutions and the stock market, with 24 percent saying Democrats are more responsible. One in five of those polled blame both parties equally, and 8 percent say neither party is to blame. The poll also indicates that more Americans think Obama, the Democratic presidential nominee, would do a better job handling an economic crisis than McCain, the Republican presidential nominee. Forty-nine percent of those questioned say Obama would display good judgment in an economic crisis, 6 points higher than the number who said the same about McCain. And Obama has a 10 point lead over McCain on the question of who would better handle the economy overall. P.S. The first presidential debate is this Friday. Supposedly, John McCain is...

McCain was really hoping to culture-war his way into the White House with his pick of Precious Princess Palin (a.k.a. She Who Must Not Be Exposed to the Mean Media). What could be a better strategy than picking a wingnut to make the base all quivery with excitement? Why, picking a female wingnut, of course! It really was comical, how blatant Team McCain was in their strategy: screw issues. We're going to talk about personalities and hockey moms and lipstick. Because...well, the culture war worked before, so why not now? What a difference a week and half can make. Precious Princess Palin's interview with Charles Gibson was a bust, and assorted controversies keep emerging from Alaska. For such a popular, charismatic GOP rising star, she sure has a lot of enemies. The Precious Princess's pick was not about merit, of course (see this list of more qualified GOP women). It was about rallying the 28 percenters. And also about giving wingnuts a chance to pretend that they...

Al Giordano counts all the times Obama was declared toast by the blogosphere . Like, way back in 2007. Meanwhile, it seems to me that with Lipstick-on-a-Pig-Gate, McSame is doing his best impression of the Fonz in a leather jacket and swim trunks.

From Charles Kozierok: Top 10 Reasons to Chill: Obama Will Be Fine . Yeah, I'm pretty jittery about the great GOP "bounce." Some quotes from nice strangers: Obama's bounce got him to 310 projected EVs/almost 70% win percentage. McCain's bounce got him even. The best McCain can do is get even, so Obama is in good shape. Yeah, McCain is starting to remind me of Kerry in 2004. How many people are really that enthusiastic about the guy without Palin? And a lot of dirt is coming out about Palin. More: No jitters. The Obama campaign is supposedly coming out swinging for the fences tomorrow. Our guy is smart. McCainPalin: tic tac toe :: Obama/Biden: Chess. Count me in Team Cautiously Optimistic.

He's still on the ballot. In Montana. On the Constitution Party ballot. Nate Silver has more.

Tonight, John McCain will remind everyone that he was once a POW.

Otherwise, you could end up with a VP candidate who helps bring in money for your Democratic rival . Obama's coffers have been filling since Sarah Palin attacked him repeatedly in St. Paul last night. An Obama aide confirms Drudge's report that Obama has raised about $8 million from more than 130,000 donors and is on pace to raise $10 million by the time McCain reaches the stage tonight. Note to John McCain: why didn't you just hire Ann frackin' Coulter as your running mate if you wanted to energize the liberal base?

When McCain picked Sarah Palin, he lost the right to use the "lack of experience" talking point. Now, with the 30 percenters in breathless rapture over a speech written for Palin by George W. Bush's team, they've automatically forfeited the right to sneer at liberals who like Obama's speeches. "All he does is give a bunch of speeches, stoopid libs!" All Sarah Palin's done so far is give a speech, wingnuts. You act as if she's the GOP's Next Big Thing. Even Peggy Noonan doesn't agree with you on that.

There's a special GOP 1.0 software package that automatically generates these boring speeches. Just type in a few keywords and phrases--"Islamic terror," "liberal," "political correctness," "Obama," "higher taxes," "extreme left," "Democrat party"--and POOF! Instant GOP convention speech!

Yosemite Mitt's giving a laundry list of right-wing cliches to a somewhat uninspired crowd. Of course, he jokes about Al Gore's private jet in a speech on energy. Hey Yosemite. How much gas does your private jet cost?

HuffPo has excerpts from Sarah Palin's speech. On the bright side, it'll probably be better than Fred Thompson's. Then again, Governor Palin's special-needs kid could probably deliver a better speech than Fred did. Uh, Governor Palin? I wouldn't go here if I were you: And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involves. I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a 'community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities." Because community organizers spend their work time flirting with co-workers and surfing the Web, right? Whoever wrote this is clearly not Palin's friend.

Hee! And it's an amazing country where an Arizona multimillionaire can attack a Chicago South Sider as an elitist and hope to make it stick. The Chicagoan was brought up by a single mom who had big ambitions for him, and he got scholarshipped into Harvard Law and was made president of the law review, all of it on his own hook, whereas the Arizonan is the son of an admiral and was ushered into Annapolis though an indifferent student, much like the Current Occupant, both of them men who are very lucky that their fathers were born before they were. The Chicagoan, who grew up without a father, wrote a book on his own, using a computer. The Arizonan hired people to write his for him. But because the Chicagoan can say what he thinks and make sense and the Arizonan cannot do that for more than 30 seconds at a time, the old guy is hoping to portray the skinny guy as arrogant. Good luck with that, sir.

TNT is airing a lot of "Law and Order" reruns starring Uncle Fred. Is this intentional?

Karl Rove lookalike Mike Murphy and longtime GOP kiss-ass commentator Peggy Noonan on Governor Sarah Palin and the election--when they don't realize the mike is still on. Ben Smith points to Noonan's WSJ column in which she really, really tries to put a positive spin on the debacle. After 2008, Noonan and Murphy will probably quit with the cheerleading and try to reposition themselves as mavericks who've been "liberated" from careers as professional GOP stooges. Kinda like Rush Limbaugh after he helped the Democrats gain control of Congress. PS: This is all over the internet now. The Two Stooges are going to have a hard time living it down.

Changed the channel after rolling my eyes at Uncle Fred's speech to watch a L&O rerun. And whose mug is on the screen in said rerun? Uncle Fred's. I bet they're airing the episode to coincide with his gripping RNC speech. I like L&O: SVU better anyway.

John McCain is mad at CNN. So mad that he canceled an appearance on Larry King.

He's sounding like one of those bloviating relatives whom people tolerate at the holidays and otherwise try to avoid. And of course, he reminds everyone that McCain was a crappy student at the naval academy and couldn't stay out of trouble. They canceled Rudy for this? PS: Fred, we know McCain was a POW. You don't need to repeat it.

Dear President Bush: Quit with the "angry left" boogeyman. These days, the "angry left" consists of most Americans. Man, I can't wait until he talks about the "Democrat" party.

George W. Bush is without a doubt one of the most wooden speakers this side of Pinnochio.

1. The real reason so many GOP politicians aren't attending is because they don't want to be bored to tears. 2. All this info about Sarah Palin is being leaked by lackeys of Tim Pawlenty and Yosemite Mitt, in revenge for not getting the nomination. 3. Dubya is giving his speech via satellite because he's afraid to be in the same convention center as his parents. He knows Poppy Bush is seriously mad at him.

Laura Bush sounds really sincere when talking about all the wimmin in Dubya's cabinet. Except not. She's now calling her husband "a man of character." Note she didn't say good character. Her intro is a case of the joke writing itself.

Ever since the DNC convention last week, Tweety's hair has looked plain awful. Has that man misplaced his comb? Or is he using Pat Buchanan's spittle as a substitute for hair gel?

Tweety was interviewing Pawlenty, and I gotta say that Pawlenty did a great job of hiding how pissed off he was at being passed over for the female version of an empty suit. Somewhere, however, Yosemite Mitt is probably screaming, "JOHN MCCAIN CAN GO TO H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS!!!!"

From someone on MSNBC: "If Jeb Bush had been Jeb Smith, there would've been no Sarah Palin." Did someone just admit that the Bush family name is now political poison?

"Waaaaaah! Liberal meanies are picking on Sarah Palin! They're mean! An' they suck! Waaaaaah!" P.S. In my opinion, Palin's hypocrisy is the real issue here. While she went hog-wild with the GOP family values/anti-abortion/religious fundamentalist hooey, her underage daughter was having sex with a self-proclaimed redneck kid who liked to use the word "fuckin'." At the risk of sounding like a liberal meanie, I think it would be really funny if one of her kids came out as gay 10 years from now. In the meantime, a lot of homeless teenage moms in Alaska are going to have a hard time finding a place to live because Palin cut the funding that could've helped them . Admit it. You're really shocked by this.

UK rawkers Slade, performing "Coz I Love You." Note to the US radio programmers who refused to play this band: You suck.

For one thing, you're generally spared embarrassments like this: (Via Atrios .)

I'm talking about Steve Bell of the Guardian . That sketch of Tweedledee and Tweedledum--I mean, Laura Bush and Cindy McCain--is just too chilling for words. These are two subjects even Gallery of the Absurd would be frightened to touch.