Liveblogging the GOP presidential debate: Prelude

At a time when the pundit class saying that the GOP's fate hangs in the balance, there's something ironic about having the party's great debate in the REAGAN library. Seriously, will this debate be as polite and orderly as the Dem debate? Remains to be seen. I think I'd prefer to catch up on Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends instead of sitting through the MSNBC countdown to the debate. Chris Matthews will moderate so there'll be ample opportunities for him to suck up to the presidential hopefuls.

The ten presidential hopefuls are: John "Like GWB Only Louder" McCain; Rudy "Never Mind My Private Life" Giuliani; Mitt "Yosemite Sam" Romney; Mike "I Heart" Huckabee; Sam "Token Nutcase" Brownback; Ron "Token Libertarian Conservative" Paul; Tommy "Not the Actor, That's Fred" Thompson; Tom "Single-Issue Candidate" Tandredo; Jim "Whathisname" Gilmore"; and Duncan "Why Is This Guy Running, Anyway?" Hunter.

Newt Gingrich is not participating, so we will all be spared listening to him blame the liberals if the debate goes badly.

Fred Thompson is not participating, so Matthews will be spared having to keep the Thompsons straight.

Chuck Hagel is also sitting it out. He hasn't even made up his mind whether he's running. If he does, he'll be the only candidate who a. is an actual conservative, b. won't have socially liberal views to downplay, c. isn't a complete wingnut, d. isn't a fringe or dark-horse candidate, and e. isn't an actor. Compared to the rest of them, Hagel is plain boring.

In other news, this alien invasion promo on Cartoon Network is annoying. Make those spaceships vanish from the screen, please!

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