More 2008 candidates!

I know, I know. The 2008 campaign is getting predictable. Among the GOP candidates, there are enough flip flops to fill a beach. On the Democratic side, you have La Hill and Obama trying to out-fundraise each other. Already, everyone knows what to expect. Maybe they should just hold the elections in January 2008 and be done with it.

In case you fear your options are limited, here are some other candidates to consider. Yes, in every political campaign, there are a few lesser-known parties, wacky outsiders, and general no-names whom nobody hears about until you see their names in the voting booth.

Well, already we've got an election that looks to be very different from elections past, so why not level the playing field? Here are some candidates running for president and other assorted elected offices.

From Vermont, home of Howard Dean and America's first socialist senator comes Cris Ericson of the National Marijuana Party. I'm not sure what the lady's running for--is it Congress or governor? However, her slogan--"FREEDOM TO CONTROL YOUR OWN BODY & YOUR OWN MIND"--will appeal to the libertarian crowd.

"Average Joe" Schriner is running for president. "We should make war on social injustice and poverty," he says. He's pro-environment and pro-farm workers. He's anti-abortion and believes in a stronger social safety net for parents. He would create a Department of Peace if elected president. He has written a book called Back Road to the White House, which is advertised on his site.

Steve Adams is another presidential candidate. His slogan is, "18th century name; 21st century values." Wait a minute--aren't there already a lot of people with the surname of Adams running around in the 21st century?

And from the Vampire, Witches, and Pagan Party comes Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey:

On a stormy rainy night on April 2nd, 1964 in Elizabeth, in the state best known as the Crossroads of the American Revolution, a fierce warrior and fighter was born.

In 2006, while America was under attack by terrorists, criminals, and ruled by politicians who care more about their own political party and major campaign contributors. An American warrior for the people came forth, just like other New Jersians did in past-times of our country's great need, to help the innocent, the wrongly persecuted, those of different faiths, beliefs, lifestyles, dreams, and ambitions.

This American is defying the establishment, and will not coward down to the Christian Right Wingers, nor to the Muslim extremist....

This American vows to instill fear into those who brutally attacked our great nation on 9-11, as well as criminals who prey upon the weak, the innocent, the elderly and children, by Impaling them for their unlawful actions....

To some, The Impaler is immortal. The Impaler is not just a warrior, a Sanguinary Satanic Vampyre, a Hecate Witch, a lover, but is above all - a "Real American."

In 2008, there could be only one for President of America.

May it be - Jonathon "The Impaler"

"Heeeeeeeere we are!/Born to be kings!/We're the princes of the universe..."

Man, I wanna see this guy in a presidential debate.


"Come on, Methos. What makes you think we'll find a k'immie at the Republican national convention?"

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