Dear Mr. Chertoff: You're joking, RIGHT?

So why Homeland Security cut NYC's funding by 40 percent? Well, it seems this city doesn't have any assets worth protecting, while other states do. That's right, the Empire State Building is not a national asset, but our country's petting zoos, flea markets, and popcorn factories are.

See, there's something called the National Asset Database, and according to this database, Indiana is one big ol' bullseye for terrorists, with 8,591 "assets." What kind of assets? Well, it has Amish County Popcorn. I didn't know the Amish even made popcorn. The company's owner could come up with only one explanation: "Maybe because popcorn explodes?"

Le Sweetie suggests, "I think they should also delist 1600 Pennsylvannia Ave as a threat since they're obviously not doing any defense for this country."

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