The Truffle

Tony Snow is back at work after surgery for cancer. Best of luck to the guy. He now says he's going to take this opportunity to educate the public about living with cancer. Maybe he could quit that icky White House job and become a spokesman for a cancer organization? C'mon Tony, use your powers for good! Jon Corzine has left the hospital and apologized for not wearing a seat belt. It's okay, dude. We forgive you. Just consider yourself lucky to be alive.

Le Sweetie and I listened to George Tenet as he tried to explain himself last night on 60 Minutes . He was angry, he was strident, he was disillusioned and felt betrayed by Bushco. One can only imagine his silent rage as George Bush hung the Presidential Medal of Freedom around his neck. How ever did he resist take that medal and whack the Preznit over the head with it? Moreover how did the interviewer, Scott Pelley, manage to sit through Tenet's blustering without rolling his eyes? Read the transcript and you will wonder the same thing. Tenet can't explain explain why the CIA never told the FBI about two of the 9/11 hijackers. He can't offer a credible excuse for why he didn't go straight to the president when he knew a terrorist attack was imminent. He can, however, come up with a new, politically correct term for torture: "enhanced interrogation techniques." No wonder his former colleagues are pissed. Tenet joins Colin "I'm soooo ashame...

Bush's AIDS czar has resigned after disclosing that he used an escort service. Ho hum. Yaawwwwwn. A GOP scandal. Booorrrrring. You've seen one, you've seen 'em all. On Thursday, Tobias told ABC News he had several times called the "Pamela Martin and Associates" escort service "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." Tobias, who is married, said there had been "no sex," and that recently he had been using another service "with Central Americans" to provide massages. The feds have accused the escort service in question of being a call girl operation. Admit it. You're surprised by this, right? Tobias' private cell number was among thousands of numbers listed in the telephone records provided to ABC News by Jeane Palfrey, the woman dubbed the "D.C. Madam," who is facing the federal charges. In an interview to be broadcast on "20/20" next Friday, Palfrey says she intends to call T...

Yes, it's a long-overdue prog blog. Are Electric Light Orchestra truly prog? Uh...they somehow ended up on Supernatural Fairy Tales with their cover of "Roll Over Beethoven." Here's ELO performing "Telephone Line." PS: If you like ELO, check out their parent band, The Move. Omnibus, their '60s singles collection, is a good starting point, followed by Shazam and the newly remastered version of their final album, Message from the Country.

There's a commercial on Boomerang, the old-school toon channel, for another season of Pokemon. "New trainers! New Pokemon!" Say WHAT? When was the last time anyone bought Pokemon cards? 1996? And this show is STILL on the air? Man, it has managed to outlive even those lousy "Dragonball" series. They're probably still cranking out "Pokemon" because it's unbelievably easy to produce: Ash and his friends visit a town named after a color. They want to earn a badge. Team Rocket tries to ruin their plans. They throw a lot of balls and sick some Pokemon on Team Rocket. Team Rocket loses. Ash and company win. The end. At least I hope they've really, really, finally pulled the plug on "Ed, Edd, and Eddy."

How is this possible, you ask? Well, it's pretty easy when you can't tell the difference between parody and real news. (Via Dave Neiwert. )

Of course, they just HAD to pre-empt Countdown with Keith Olbermann for the great Dem Q&A session last night. Before then, I had completely forgotten that so many people were running for president! And everyone came out a winner. Yes, each candidate, whether first- or second- or third-tier, deserves some sort form of recognition for his or her performance that night. Most calculating candidate: La Hill. Man, she knows how to say all the right things in front of the cameras. Except one. Nobody's heard her say, "My vote for the war was a mistake." And nobody's heard her say, "Here's how we can exit Iraq." Most atypical performance by a blabbermouth: Joe Biden. Yes, the politician who has single-handedly contributed the most to global warming with his hot air managed to keep his bloviating in check that night...more or less. Most disappointing: John Edwards. C'mon, where's that inner fire? He could've been more forceful when ta...

Another reason why GOPers should drop the "Democrats R teh EVIL!!1!!!1!" crap.

Yes, this year, Hollywood has found yet another beloved character to mutate into something unrecognizable. And so, this August, they're bringing us a live action film version of Underdog . Instead of humble, lovable Shoeshine Boy, we have a lovable hound who gets superpowers in a lab accident. Instead of "Never fear, Underdog is here," we have "One Nature, Under Dog." Oh yeah, and Sweet Polly Purebread is a cocker spaniel, not a reporter. No, of course the idea has nothing to do with the cartoon. Yes, I loved the cartoon. Yes, I'll be looking forward to seeing other movies this summer. Coming soon: the live-action Tennessee Tuxedo, starring a lovable penguin and walrus in a zoo. C'mon, you know some genius thinks this is a good idea.

Duran Duran-loving Dwanollah has written the ideal primer for today's girls: Twenty Things Every Girl Can Learn from Britney Spears . Yes, it seems the pop star-turned-trainwreck has a lot of lessons to teach those teenage girls who are now, no doubt, kicking themselves for buying her records back in 2000. ("I thought she was the prettiest pop princess ever. I was eight years old. Someone please KILL ME NOW!") She’s not just America’s Sweet Pop Princess... or even America’s Former Sweet Pop Princess. Rather, she’s a shining, golden example to us all about what people, especially teenaged girls, need to learn as they grow to adulthood. Spend a little time looking at Britney’s life and choices, and suddenly, a whole lot of things become clearer, and pivotal life lessons – especially for young women – become more obvious. Like, smack-you-upside-the-head obvious. Thought-provoking and recommended. Seriously.

Via Atrios, we find Harry Reid's spokesman responding to Darth Cheney's latest outburst: Vice President Cheney should be the last person to lecture anyone on how leaders should make decisions. Leaders should make decisions based on facts and reality, two words that seem to be foreign to the Vice President. This is the same guy who said Iraq has weapons of mass destruction and that we would be greeted as liberators. And it's the same guy who continues to assert that Saddam Hussein had links to al Qaeda long after our own intelligence agency conclusively refuted this notion. To suggest he lacks credibility would be an understatement. The Vice President's and others' attacks on those who disagree with their failed policies are signs of desperation. They are lashing out because they know the days are numbered for their failed strategy and that the American people and a bipartisan majority are determined to force this Administration to change course in Iraq. See, guys?...

Danica McKellar (of Wonder Years fame) chose to branch out in college, majoring in math at UCLA. While she was there, she helped her professor write a paper that was published in an academic journal. As a result, she and her co-authors had a mathematical theorum named after them. Now, she's written a book for middle-school girls, titled Math Doesn't Suck. It'll be published in August, right before the new school year. It's very cool to see a well-known actress encourage young girls to learn and love mathematics. Go Danica!

I went shoe shopping yesterday. This is always so much fun. Except not really. First, I've got wide feet with high arches. For some weird reason, most shoe stores sell only medium width. Luckily for me, there are a couple of decent shoe stores--Nine West and Easy Spirit--that sell in wide. There used to be Parade of Shoes, but that store ceased to exist, having been assimilated by Payless of Borg. I hate high heels. I never wear them. I tried when I was about seventeen. Ow ow OW! My poor toes! That's enough of heels for me. And I've seen too many women wobbling as they try to keep their balance wearing what look like nails attached to leather. (Whoops! Did I insult your precious Manolos? Sorry.) Anyway, the shoe du jour is the Croc . I confess I've made a point of avoiding Crocs as much as I can. For one thing, they're the most unfortunate-looking shoes since Uggs. For a long time, they've been on my list of fashionable footwear that I won'...

I've read some crazy, nonsensical, and just plain rock-stupid commentary on the Virginia Tech tragedy. This, however, tops them all. I can just imagine what was going through the minds of the Sunday Times' editors when they chose to publish this tripe. "Let's see--the news media has spilled lots and lots of ink on this story. They've examined American gun laws. They've interviewed his professors and classmates. They've discussed his mental state. They've aired his demented video. They've even promised to stop airing the demented video. We need a new angle here, people. We've heard his classmates and ex-professors. We need a new angle. Say--let's frame this as a gender issue! He was a man in a feminized culture! Yeah! That's new!" Ahem. Let's try to manage the difficult task of reading this thing without spewing one's beverage all over the keyboard, shall we? The author is Sarah Baxter, and the article is t...

ScottEVill notes that late Friday is always the time Bush picks to unleash unfortunate news, circumvent Congress, or generally behave like the slimeball he is. What's coming up for next Friday? Scott has an idea. Sister Nancy is horrified to discover cosmetics for men. Nancy, hon, menfolk have been doing that for years. Michael Jackson had eyeliner tattooed on his face back in the 1980s. Where were you when this freakazoid was trying to perfect the art of self-emasculation? You wonder why men aren't manly men anymore? It goes back to Michael Jackson. Come to think of it, who championed the Jackson 5 back when Michael was still black? Diana Ross, Berry Gordy, and Motown. Who did Jackson do his best to resemble? Diana Ross. There's a conspiracy here, and it's got something to do with Miss Ross and Motown. I'm sure that girly-voice himself, Smokey Robinson, also has something to do with it. Remind me to tell you about my other theory, involving Barney t...

I know today is Earth Day. I never do anything spectacular for Earth Day. Why? Well, I already try to pitch in where I can to help the environment. I take public transportation. I try not to leave too many lights on. I recycle my newspapers and magazines and tin cans and plastic containers. I even sometimes buy shower gel and soap from the Body Shop. I just do it because it seems like the right thing to do. Besides, I kinda like the idea of all that newspaper ending up back on the newstands somewhere. Going green is cool. Promoting green policies is cool. But I have a problem with just one day out of the year being set aside for it. For the same reason, I've got a problem with Women's and Black History Months. We don't even have an Earth Month or an Earth Week. Just an Earth Day. That sounds pretty screwy to me.

Well, Greek Independence Day. Actually, Greek Independence Day was last Sunday, but due to circumstances beyond anyone's control (i.e., that nor'easter), there were no festivities and no parade. Now, the neighborhood is awash in blue and white, and Fifth Avenue had a big, fun parade, complete with a marching band playing "Louie Louie." Of course, NYC has been rewarded for its week of wet weather with a cloudless, sunny weekend. Le Sweetie and I hung out in Central Park, drank Gatorades, and had fun. Neither of us has Greek ancestry, but it was a great day no matter where your ancestors came from. Life was good. Happy Independence Day to Greeks everywhere!

Here it is. Something more frightening than a twenty-four hour slasher-movie marathon. Ladies and gents, it's Lawrence Welk as a hippie. Think that's trippin'? Who thought the Velvet Underground would be creating the ideal champagne music? Somewhere, Nico and Sterling Morrison are spinning in their graves.

It's the Carpenters at their melodramatic, soul-baring best, performing "Superstar." RIP Karen.

Before Gonzo's testimony, Le Sweetie and I imagined him practicing his answers in advance with his family, trying to keep his stories straight. Yet it wasn't enough to save his testimony or his reputation. One can only imagine why... Gonzo kidlet: "Daddy, why do you have to keep saying, 'I don't know' and 'I don't remember'?" Gonzo: "Because this is a very important hearing. Now you're going to pretend you're Senator Schumer." Gonzo kidlet: "Yo! I'm tawkin' ta you, Alberto!" Gonzo: "Sweetie, Senator Schumer doesn't talk like that." Gonzo kidlet: "You said he was from Brooklyn, Daddy." Gonzo (sighing): "Okay, pretend you're Senator Leahy instead." Gonzo kidlet: "Go fuck yourself, Gonzales!" Gonzo (gasps): "WHERE did you learn to talk like that?" Gonzo kidlet: "Senators say 'fuck' all the time!" Gonzo: "Not senators. Only vice...