Yo, Borowitz Report!

From my friend Lewis N. Clark...

Senator Obama made a last minute trip to Moscow to
meet the new Russian leadership and then delivered a well-received foreign relations
speech to thousands of people in Red Square. Meanwhile, Senator McCain visited
a Vodka factory to meet with a dozen workers there, vowing "While Obama is placating
the Red Menace, I will never let the Soviet Union invade Czechoslovakia again!"
Unfortunately, the plant had been closed for several hours so McCain had to settle
for lecturing the night watchman, who later said "I think he's been nipping
at our inventory..."

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