Friday, March 28, 2008

Oh goody

In case La Hill needs to leave the race (which is looking more and more like a possibility), her name is being floated as a...drum roll please...gubernatorial candidate for New York State. What, is La Hill going to join the Political Office of the Month Club? How about she steps aside, makes way for Obama, appears alongside the guy at campaign stops, and just stays in the freaking senate? Maybe she could become Senate Majority Leader. Something other than the presidential race.

Here's a better idea: Make her an ambassador and send her out of the country. I never thought I'd say this, but the Clintons have overstayed their welcome. Not as quickly as the Bushes did, but still.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Stuff it, Hillary

Up until a few weeks ago, I thought La Hill and Obama were both fine candidates, and I couldn't choose between one or the other. Gradually, I came to prefer Obama. Maybe it was Bush/Clinton fatigue. Or maybe because I think Obama would be better able to win votes from independents and even some Republicans. I wasn't against La Hill, but she wasn't my ideal candidate.

Now? The longer she stays on the campaign trail and the more she starts to channel Karl Rove in her stupid scare tactics, the more disenchanted I become. Forget all the blathering about this supposed back-and-forth between Clinton and Obama. The bulk of the mud is flung by the Clinton camp, what with that stupid "3 AM" commercial (starring a little girl who grew up to be an Obama supporter!) or La Hill's tut-tutting over Reverend Wright. As for Team Obama, Samantha Power was the exception that proved the rule--and she was canned.

Now a bunch of zillionaires are trying to strongarm Nancy Pelosi. Why? Because she thinks superdelegates should--gasp--follow the will of the voters! Pelosi thinks democracy is a great idea! Imagine that!

Hillary's going to lose supporters if she keeps this up. She should bow out, if not for the party, then for her own dignity.

But where's the rhinestone bikini? On second thought...

This is Sia, a hugely talented Australian chanteuse. Singing "Gimme More." Yes, the same song Britney "performed" at the VMAs.



If there's ever a Britney tribute album, maybe we'll get to hear what the songs sound like when sung by people who can actually sing.

WHEW!

Around February/March every year, I have the usual range of checkups, with routine checkups at the main doctor and the OB/GYN. Early this month, I went for my first-ever mammogram. Today, I got the results and everything's hunky-dory. Yay!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Say whuh?

Turns out McCain and La Hill's passport records were also breached. This is not good. In fact, there could be lots of nobodies whose records were accessed by State Department flunkies.

Makes you feel safer, doesn't it?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I like the Bee Gees

I like their 1960s stuff. I like their early 1970s stuff. I like their disco stuff. Shaddap! The Bee Gees were great singers and songwriters. No, I haven't seen the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band movie. I do have standards, you know.

In case you hate their patented fusion of disco beats and falsetto singing, here's one of their early hits.

This makes me nervous

MSNBC is reporting a security breach: namely contract employees at the State Department who peeked at Barack Obama's passport records. Olbermann and Howard Fineman are discussing this right now. Two employees have been fired; a third was disciplined. The security breach, by the way, took place two months ago. And no action was taken until now.

Team Obama calls this "an outrageous breach of security and privacy."

Go ahead, tell me I'm paranoid. Tell me I need to remove the tinfoil hat. I doubt these were just a few flunkies browsing records sans authorization. In fact, I think "contractor" is a euphemism for "fall guy."

Gee, this is so sad (NOT)

Scooter "Not the Muppet" Libby has been disbarred.

A three-judge panel on the D.C. Court of Appeals stripped Libby of his ability to practice law after he was found guilty last year of obstructing the investigation in the CIA leak investigation, WTOP radio reported.

"When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory," the three judges wrote in their order.

He's currently working at one of those wingnut-welfare think tanks. The Hudson Institute, I think it is. I wonder how those places are going to absorb all the disgraced wingnuts who've rendered themselves totally unemployable?

(Via Firedoglake.)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Why conservatism failed

Leave it to a a commenter over at the Great Orange Satan to explain why. This is the most important reason why conservatism doesn't work:

If you believe that government cannot ever work, you cannot ever work a functioning government. Incompetence is a feature, not a bug, of conservatism.

Oh, Pat, shut up

Professional stupid white person Pat Buchanan is now on Hardball, whining about Jeremiah Wright in the aftermath of the Obama speech. Buchanan sounds like a whiny little crybaby while Joe Madison is playing the role of grownup and trying to avoid saying "Yes, dear, but..."

Madison is taking Buchanan to the cleaners and saying that if Pat is so offended, "don't join Jeremiah's church."

All I can say is this: my church wasn't as interesting as Jeremiah Wright's. I guess it comes from being Episcopalian.

Oooooooops. Did I just say something anti-clerical and un-American?

I do remember my Sunday school teacher singing us really goofy religious songs. ("Give me wax on my board, keep me surfing for the Lord.") Good thing I'm not a politician, because with my religious background, people might think I'm a boring flake.

Even Gene Kelly would've hated Bush

Kelly's widow says so.

Surely it must have been a slip for Maureen Dowd to align the artistry of my late husband, Gene Kelly, with the president’s clumsy performances. To suggest that “George Bush has turned into Gene Kelly” represents not only an implausible transformation but a considerable slight. If Gene were in a grave, he would have turned over in it.

When Gene was compared to the grace and agility of Jack Dempsey, Wayne Gretzky and Willie Mays, he was delighted. But to be linked with a clunker — particularly one he would consider inept and demoralizing — would have sent him reeling.

Graduated with a degree in economics from Pitt, Gene was not only a gifted dancer, director and choreographer, he was also a most civilized man. He spoke multiple languages; wrote poetry; studied history; understood the projections of Adam Smith and John Maynard Keynes. He did the Sunday Times crossword in ink. Exceedingly articulate, Gene often conveyed more through movement than others manage with words.

Sadly, President Bush fails to communicate meaningfully with either. For George Bush to become Gene Kelly would require impossible leaps in creativity, erudition and humility.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Advice for stupid white people

Before you complain about angry black people who criticize America, maybe you should read a history book. Maybe some of these black people have a reason to be angry?

You think?

This is recommended reading

The full text of Obama's speech on race. Now can we get on with the campaign?

Monday, March 17, 2008

More stupid white people

Speaking as a white person of the pale, red-haired, freckled variety, I get really, really embarrassed when other white people say things like "I don't understand why black people have to go ahead and do/say/behave in ways I don't like." Today's culprit is Saul Friedman, wondering why "all" black columnists support Barack Obama.

Of course, Friedman undercuts his own argument early on:

I don’t know every black columnist working these days on papers through the country. And I’m not counting the right-wing black writers like Thomas Sowell, or Armstrong Williams. But I have read many of the mainstream columnists, who are among the finest writers in journalism. And they are almost as one in their praise of Obama and their ridicule of Clinton.

If black journalists really are wowed by candidates who share their skin color, then where were they when, say, Alan Keyes was running for president? Maybe there are other factors involved. Could it be that Obama is actually a skilled politician with a good chance at the presidency while Keyes is a crackpot? Or that Obama is able to reach across assorted party and color lines in ways La Hill or Keyes could never do? Friedman ignores or forgets Obama endorsements from not-exactly-liberal Caucasians like Blue Dog Democrat Stephanie Herseth Sandlin and Susan Eisenhower, granddaughter of Ike. Funny, isn't it?

Friedman also claims that Obama's black critics are being vilified or shamed into silence. Alas, he doesn't give solid examples. La Hill, of course, has her black supporters, Charles Rangel among them. Rangel, of course, is a fellow New Yorker. I suspect that factors into his endorsement.

I was never against La Hill, but she wasn't my first choice. I would've accepted her as a candidate if she hadn't morphed into a rabid pit bull on angel dust in the last month or two. Her mishandling of Geraldine "Trailblazer Turned Loser" Ferraro is an example. As is Bill's flippant commentary about Obama's South Carolina win. ("Of COURSE them uppity Negroes always win South Carolina. That doesn't make them electable!")

The racial attitude of the past 30 years, in which black candidates could run for president but never be considered electable, appear to be shifting (I hope). Previously, black candidates could be admired for being, well, uppity Negroes and getting on the ballot, but now? Now, a black candidate is outdoing La Hill in the delegate counts and even polling ahead of McCain. A sudden rush forward into a post-racial America is still a little scary to comprehend.

Georgie Anne Geyer, a Caucasian center-right columnist, compares Obama and La Hill. Her conclusion? Obama has leadership qualities. La Hill does not.

Leadership is not fighting whatever gets in your precious way at any moment. It is exemplifying and embodying an entire set of profound American principles and beliefs and giving such expression to them on the international stage that other peoples will want to be more, and not less, like us.

Of course, Jesse Jackson and Alan Keyes never had this leadership potential. (Speaking of Keyes, he announced he was running for president this year. Where is he?)

Newsday columnist Sheryl McCarthy adds:
Friedman's question is a variation on one that is frequently asked when African-Americans appear to be coming together. It's on par with "Why do all the black students eat together in the cafeteria?" when asked by worried white college administrators, and "Why are you black guys all gathered around the same desk at work?" when asked by our perplexed white colleagues. The answers to the above are: "because we enjoy each other's company" and "because we are having a conversation."

Friedman's column has the same finger-wagging quality. As if by writing well of Obama we have undermined the vigorous marketplace of ideas, and should apologize for it. As if the only way to prove that we can think critically is to criticize the black guy. I, and a number of other black columnists who have responded to his column on the blog, find this patronizing and insulting.

Well, of course it is. It's also another example of a clueless stupid white person who just can't understand why black people act the way they do.

Heck, Friedman's commenters make stronger points than Friedman himself. Like this guy.

It's sad but true

Cartoon Network used to have great cartoons, like Dexter's Laboratory, Powerpuff Girs, and Johnny Bravo, Teen Titans, and Megas XLR. Nowadays, CN's regular original cartoons all suck, with the obvious exception of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Someone please explain why Ed, Edd, and Eddy hasn't been canceled yet. And where's Gennady Tartakovsky these days? Man, at least the network still has Adult Swim.

I'm bored with Spitzer

While the media dissects the man's downfall, I'm already over it. He's done. He resigned. He's not the governor anymore. I'm as disappointed as anyone else who voted for the guy. Obviously, scummy behavior transcends party lines. I just would love to see Silda Spitzer hire a good divorce lawyer. Meanwhile, I just hope David Paterson is a decent, hardworking, effective governor. Please, let it be so.

While McCain's off in Iraq...

...and trying to tie his presidential race to Situation FUBAR, the Drum Major Institute has graded him on issues affecting the middle class.

Surprise! He sucks. Okay, he doesn't suck. He just missed all the key votes on legislation affecting middle class voters, so the DMI gave him an incomplete. He's admitted, "The economy is not my strong point." No wonder he's schlepped off to the Middle East. Maybe he'll start singing "Bomb Iran" again to win over some wingnuts.

La Hill and Obama, meanwhile, received A+ grades.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm sure it's all coincidental

From MSNBC:

Adm. William Fallon is stepping down as head of the U.S. Central Command, which oversees military matters in the Middle East, Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced Tuesday.

Gates said that Adm. William J. Fallon had asked for permission to retire and that Gates agreed. Gates said the decision, effective March 31, was entirely Fallon’s and that Gates believed it was “the right thing to do.”

Fallon was the subject of an article published last week in Esquire magazine that portrayed him as opposed to President Bush’s Iran policy. It described Fallon as a lone voice against taking military action to stop the Iranian nuclear program.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Awwwwww. Did widdle Turdbwossom get picked on?

Note to a certain genius at the University of Iowa: Is this scumbag really worth 40 grand?

At one point during the speech, Rove reportedly lashed out at some of the students, saying, "You got a chance to ask your questions later and make your stupid statements, let me make mine."

Wait a sec. Did Turdblossom say he was going to make a stupid statement? No wonder they weren't impressed with him.

More from the Des Moines Register.

By the time Karl Rove took the stage at the University of Iowa Sunday, groups from around eastern Iowa had been protesting his presence for two hours.

The protesters staged a mock trial for President Bush's former top adviser inside the U of I's student union and draped the side of a nearby parking ramp with a 60-foot anti-Rove banner that police quickly removed.

As soon as Rove entered the room, boos, shouts of "traitor" and "war criminal," and occasional cheers emanated from the roughly 900 audience members - and lasted the entire hour and a half in which Rove took questions.

Turdblossom isn't exactly Mr. Popularity over there, is he? And yes, I know Columbia invited Iran's President Psycho to speak on campus, just in case some wingnut brings that up. People booed and protested him, too.

Keep in mind, this lecture took place in IOWA. Zee Heartland. Zee midst of zee Red-State America. Or at least it was. Not anymore.

Come to think of it, maybe there was an advantage to inviting Zee Turdblossom--so he could see for himself how his dream of near-permanent GOP majority has totally fizzled.

P.S. Denny Hastert's seat was won by a Democrat in a special election. It's the first time a Democrat has held the IL-14 congressional seat since the 1950s. Suck on it, Karl.

(Via Democratic Underground.)

Advice for politicians

Look, idiots, if you're having problems with your wife, OR you aren't getting any, I have two words for you.

Sex. Therapist.

Or if you're feeling "the urge" and need to take care of it really soon, I have two more words for you:

Porn. Magazine.

These are legal. They are common. They are somewhat less embarrassing than being caught buying the services of a hooker or banging some bimbo intern. Or trying to pick up random people in airport bathrooms.

Look, if Bob Dole can keep a straight face in a Viagra commercial, you can send some flunky to buy a copy of Playboy. Or, in Larry Craig's case, some gay porn magazine. And if you're caught with a skin magazine, at least you can turn around and say you're an average American and milk all the populist appeal you can out of it. After all, what red-blooded American male doesn't like porn? Maybe you can even get a Playboy cover story out of it.

Eliot, you moron

Talk about major, serious letdowns. I was happy to vote for Spitzer two years ago, because I thought he'd be an awesome governor. He'd been a rockin' attorney general, right? Maybe he could become another Robert LaFollette type of governor. A gal can hope, right?

But Spitzer, for lack of a better word, completely and totally fucked up.

Forget his feud with Joe Bruno. Forget his dopey "licenses for illegals" idea.

This just takes the cake.

Note to Governor Spitzer: maybe you should've learned a lesson from less affaires Craig et Vitter. Don't say one thing and then do another. For example, don't take legal action against a prostitution ring and then try to hire a hooker. Dig?

I won't shed any tears when and if Spitzer resigns. Talk about self-sabotage. Even John McCain has not (to anyone's knowledge) done anything like this.

Dumbass.

Welcome to Cancellation City, Tucker

Sad news. Li'l Tucker Carlson's show is being canceled. He's technically under contract with MSNBC until 2008. After that, perhaps he'll journey to the Island of Misfit Pundits, AKA Faux News. I'm actually shocked nobody from Faux offered him a show.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Note to Jim Davis: Don't read this

Via Amber Rhea, I've discovered...Garfield Minus Garfield. Not since Dysfunctional Family Circus has anyone deconstructed a cartoon strip so thoroughly.

From the site itself:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness [sic] in a quiet American suburb.

Maybe the author could try something similar with For Better or For Worse.

Okay, there's hope for me yet

67%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?



Only 67 percent? Wow.

Well, THIS didn't take long! An anti-McCain attack ad

He really is an easy target, isn't he? I mean, "same" and "McCain" almost rhyme. And he's not going to live down The Hug any time soon.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Oh yeah, and here's my prediction

Huckabee won't be McCain's running mate. McCain will try to curry favor with the wingnuts by picking a wingnut for the VP slot--perhaps Sam Brownback? Really, he'd be the perfect choice, if you want to go all out.

Some DNC operative should infiltrate that freaking campaign and fuck shit up.

Dispatches from Planet YOWTCH!

Man, this is even harsher than when Mr. Gay Penguins accused his fellow wingnuts of behaving like liberals.

John McCain increasingly is looking like the hapless Hubert H. Humphrey of 1968. Captive to his own partisan support for a disastrous war; too timid to stake out an agenda for change; passively permitting an unpopular president to embrace him as heir; squandering what little was left of his good repute in shabby political maneuvering. It's Humphrey all over again. McCain is busy tying a dead weight around his shoulders that he imagines is the mantle of the presidency. The endorsement today by Bush went a long way toward sealing his fate.

Maybe Dubya will hit the campaign trail to convince people that the Iraq war is going swimmingly. After all, as McCain has said, he'll lose if people believe otherwise.

Feh. I always thought that John McCain was overrated.

Dispatches from Planet IOKIYAR



Courtesy of cartoonist Ann Telnaes.

Dispatches from Planet This Is Not News

So Dubya endorsed McCain. Whoopity doo. Who else is in the race now? Ron Paul? You think Dubya's going to endorse a loopy far-right libertarian who hates the Iraq war? Me neither.

But I really hope that Bush campaigns for McCain. In fact, I hope that there are lots of pictures of Bush and McCain hugging and shaking hands and waving at people. It'll be political poison gold.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Somewhere, Molly Ivins is smiling

And Karl Rove's brain is exploding.

Lone Star Liberals Are Back is the title of the op-ed piece from Mimi Swartz and it's all about how the GOP looks to lose Texas just as they're gradually losing Kansas.

As Hillary Clinton has learned, the Texas of today is a very different place from the one that elected Ann Richards and George Bush. We have also given more sons to an unpopular war than any other state, while here at home, life just isn’t that much better than it was back in 1994, when the Republicans made so many promises.

My guess is that after more than a decade of Republican rule, we’ll discover that Texans are ready to give those crazy Democrats another chance.

There's more fun at Kiss My Big Blue Butt, where one lady unlucky enough to have Tom DeLay as a congressman is now dancing on air and pointing readers in the direction of a Nation article that seems to echo Mimi Swartz's sentiments.

I'm heading to Austin with Le Sweetie next week for five days of music and fun at South by Southwest. Austin's your basic liberal college town and perhaps the mood will be merrier this year.

Super-duper white-knuckle primary time!

Who ever knew a political primary could be so thrilling? The GOP primary is a lackluster affair, because everyone knows the result--Whatshisname will get almost all the votes, while Whatchamacallit from Arkansas sticks it out and, say, is that libertarian dude still in the race? Nobody's heard a thing about him. And Yosemite Mitt is awfully quiet, too. Why isn't he encouraging his fellow conservatives (please don't laugh) to vote for McCain? Probably because as soon as McCain inevitably wins a bunch of primaries (like he wouldn't? who else is there?), Bush will endorse him.

And won't it be neat to have Bush campaign for McCain? Please, please, Senator McCain, start giving the preznit huggy-wuggys on the campaign trail! It'll be perfect for DNC ads your conservative credentials!

Anyway, Obama seems to be a lock in Texas and Vermont. Hillary, is there any part of "bow out gracefully" you haven't figured out yet?