Make it stop! Make it stoooooooop!!!!

Nicole Ritchie is in Vanity Fair, talking about how thin she is. Shut up and eat a hamburger. And get a job while you're at it.

Tom Cruise will be starring in Mission Impossible III. Did they remember to include a coherent plot for this installment? Who cares? And who cares what "Suri" means in what language?

How far along is Angelina Jolie, and is she going to just have the kid already? And are we going to see more side-by-side photos of Brangelina and Jennifer Aniston or is everyone going to just shut up and move on to the Denise Richards-Richie Sambora-Heather Locklear kerfluffle?

There should be a rule: if you lose on American Idol, you do not automatically gain publicity and a recording deal. You have to start at the bottom again and tour clubs and do crappy gigs and sing backup and orange juice commercials just like all the other singers.

Keith Richards fell from a tree? Pft! My boyfriend's theory is that Richards died years ago and hasn't realized it yet.

Oh, and a people? Stop writing about Courtney Love and Pete Doherty. Maybe if they ever release new music they'll be deserving of publicity. Until then, screw it.

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